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  • Karakris
    replied
    Originally posted by Roddoss72 View Post
    In the days leading to the invasion the Luftwaffe began dusting the South Eastern area of Britain with a white powder that when it came into contact with the ground it evaporated into the air and hung closely to the ground of about 10 metres.

    When the the first Luftwaffe paratroopers began landing the populations including the military defenders looked at the paratroopers and were besotted as thousands of Mary Poppins came floating down out of hundreds of Chitty, Chitty Bang Bangs.

    The locals welcomed these Mary Poppins by throwing flowers over them.

    Within days Britian surrendered. Germany had used their best weapon called "Loving Special Dust" or LSD for short.
    Unfortunately - Either the German High Command has been taking LSD themselves, or they listened to Reports from Troops who had accidentally sniffed some of this Dust.

    What Really happened -

    Most of the individual Paratroopers were surrounded by small groups of Soldiers who had blackened faces - and were totally convinced that they were Chimney Sweeps ( like Dick Van Dyke ), and that their Rifles were Sweep's Brushes.
    They engaged individual German Paratroopers in nonsense conversations - then put them through a gruelling ordeal.
    Several of them were forced to dance endlessly around in big circles, through imaginary countryside, to take part in imaginery races and sing nonsense songs - including "Chim Chimminy".
    The "chimney sweeps" kept correcting them in a friendly way, whenever they got the Words wrong - and kept drilling them in how to dance and play properly, and the Words of the Songs.
    These "chimney sweeps" just did not belive that they were dealing with German Soldiers, just confused Mary Poppins's who had not learned their Parts properly - and who needed correcting. They were convinced that the German's Rifles were flying umbrelllas.
    By the end of the day - most of the Germans were exhausted, run ragged, and nearly going completely nutso !!
    A few unlucky Germans spent the whole day being forced to sing "Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious" for the whole day, until they got it Right !! Very few did - and most went totally nutso, braking down into Tears !!

    Some even more unlucky ones were even made to sing the "X Rated" version of the Song - "*Super*callous*flagillistic*expert*cunni*ling us*" by some very Randy Soldiers.

    A very few of the Paratroopers escaped, and got through to London - where a worse fate awaited them.
    Individuals were surrounded by even more Soldiers, also convinced that they were "chimney sweeps" - and forced to hand over their English Coins to buy bags of "bird feed".
    They were forced to listen to endless singing of "feed the birds - tuppence a bag". Later they were harrangued by City Gents in Bowler Hats, who accused them of "wasteful expenditure" and causing "financial collapse" - then made to gather up crumbs and pieces of stale bread, to fill bags of "bird feed".
    Finally, they were forced to gather at St. Paul's Cathedral and Trafalgar Square, to feed the thousands of hungry Pigeons.
    This lot ended up totally suicidal - and dropped their Guns in the street, falling asleep weeping endlessly.

    The following morning, the British Troops were their normal selves - and together with suspicious Farmers and City Folk - they rounded-up the Paratroops, and stuck them in Jails and Stockades.

    So much for the "Mary Poppins" Paratroppers - wonder what will come next.

    Oh Well - "Don't believe the Hype" as they used to say.

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  • Bwaha
    replied

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  • Roddoss72
    replied
    In the days leading to the invasion the Luftwaffe began dusting the South Eastern area of Britain with a white powder that when it came into contact with the ground it evaporated into the air and hung closely to the ground of about 10 metres.

    When the the first Luftwaffe paratroopers began landing the populations including the military defenders looked at the paratroopers and were besotted as thousands of Mary Poppins came floating down out of hundreds of Chitty, Chitty Bang Bangs.

    The locals welcomed these Mary Poppins by throwing flowers over them.

    Within days Britian surrendered. Germany had used their best weapon called "Loving Special Dust" or LSD for short.

    Leave a comment:


  • DARKPLACE
    replied
    DOVER BUS STATION

    1st Dutchwoman: vas is das sixpence? Win in der furehers name vas is ein "tanner"? Corpral, you completed the dick van dyke training course. Find out from this island monkey what the he'll he is talking about.

    2nd Dutchwoman: "Yawohl." he clicks his clogs instinctively
    And turns to the bus conductor. " CoR blimey guvnah, it's a fair cop Mary poppins. "

    Leave a comment:


  • Karakris
    replied
    Originally posted by DARKPLACE View Post
    DOVER CUSTOMS 1st June 1940

    Scene: A grey haired sergeant major type customs officer is standing at the nothing to declare channel.

    Before him stand a group of suspiciously tall looking "Dutch" Women in wooden shoes and white hats.

    Customs officer: "Anything to declare?"

    "Dutch" Women Shuffle feet nervously and noisily.: "Nein!" fumble with mp40's badly wrapped in brown paper parcels.

    Customs officer: "Welcome to England"

    Head Dutch Woman" Danke, mein Herr. Sturmbanfurer? Vorwarts to London!"
    Good Start - My Friend.

    Leave a comment:


  • DARKPLACE
    replied
    DOVER CUSTOMS 1st June 1940

    Scene: A grey haired sergeant major type customs officer is standing at the nothing to declare channel.

    Before him stand a group of suspiciously tall looking "Dutch" Women in wooden shoes and white hats.

    Customs officer: "Anything to declare?"

    "Dutch" Women Shuffle feet nervously and noisily.: "Nein!" fumble with mp40's badly wrapped in brown paper parcels.

    Customs officer: "Welcome to England"

    Head Dutch Woman" Danke, mein Herr. Sturmbanfurer? Vorwarts to London!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Karakris
    replied
    Originally posted by Selous View Post
    You raise an excellent point, Chris. I merely wondered as to how the mechanics would flow with no stated aims or objectives for victory in a war game.
    I say, go for it, mate
    I will have to have a long, hard Think about this - but it Could be made to work.

    Leave a comment:


  • Selous
    replied
    You raise an excellent point, Chris. I merely wondered as to how the mechanics would flow with no stated aims or objectives for victory in a war game.
    I say, go for it, mate

    Leave a comment:


  • Karakris
    replied
    Originally posted by Selous View Post
    The object of a game being to win, I'm not sure how you'd make such a game, my friend; unless you make the objective to lose
    If you wish to make a game in this vein I shall not stop you but I'm not much of a wargamer (and am allready got my name down for a game ran here by another member) so I would not take part. But here's the ball sir, you run all the way with it, as far as you like
    This Issue has been raised before - funnily enough in what is now "my" Sci Fi Wargame.
    The Confederation of mostly Humans is in a very long drawn out Interstellar WAR with the Empire of the mostly Zetans.
    The Confederation has 36 Colonised Star Systems - the Zetan Empire has Conquered some 70% of this Galaxy ( the Milky Way ).

    In principle - the Zetan Empire could destroy The Confederation totally and completely, in just a few Months - beyond any possible survival.
    In principle - The Confederation can NEVER defeat the Zetan Empire.

    But - the point of the Game is SURVIVAL. For the Confederation to Survive, to expand, to get stronger - and ocassionally to damage the Zetan Empire.
    For the Zetan Empire, it is to ATTEMPT to Destroy the Confederation.

    The real point and purpose is for the Game to CONTINUE.
    This allows for the forming of new Ideas, new Discoveries, new Worlds to explore and Colonise, new Intelligent Species to discover - and so much more.

    Under the "Working Rules" - the Zetans are hampered by a lack of Advanced Technologies - the Confederation is more advanced in Technology, and advancing more rapidly.

    The Zetan Empire is largely a Slave Empire, like the Roman Empire - needing to Expand and Conquer in order to overcome its own internal problems. It needs to expend considerable Resources and "Manpower" to control the vast numbers of unwilling Slaves - it is never going to get much in the way of Technological Advances from Slaves ( neither did Nazi Germany, which WASTED the Scientific and Technoligal abilities of Enslaved Peoples ).
    The Zetan Empire is also hampered by its own structure - a vast Empire, administered from the Centre, with almost no local control - and with major Logistical Limitations, as local systems are rarely self-sufficient in Resources.
    However - the Zetan Empire has now clashed with The Confederation - its continual Expansion has been STOPPED.

    All I am saying - is that there can be other AIMS in running a Game, apart from Winning and Losing, or Competing.
    Once Upon A Time - People actually played Games for FUN - the enjoyment of the Game itself.
    One of the most regrettable changes which I have seen during my lifetime has been the change from a World in which Playing for Fun is an acceptable practice - to a World in which Playing to Win is the ONLY way to Play.
    That has been a VERY SAD continuation of a Process which began hundreds of years ago. Once upon a time, Children were allowed to play Games of Cards with Adults - betting was not an issue. Then it began to become the norm, and Laws were introduced which Banned children from these types of Games.
    When I was a Child - Adults and Children played Games together - Cricket or Football, for instance. No real Score was kept - and the Adults did not play to Win - it was FUN to play with your Children and their Children Friends in this way.
    Now, Children are expected to be more "grown up" and to play these Games "properly" - Scores are now more important, and Adults play more aggressively.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lucky 6
    replied
    On the subject of Ice Cream; wasn't a pumping station for PLUTO disguised as an ice cream supplier? Also, wasn't there some story goin' 'round, probably impossible to verify, that an ice cream truck got caught in the traffic in Portsmouth or the like, and somehow got loaded onto an LST. You may be onto something here, S.

    Leave a comment:


  • Selous
    replied
    The object of a game being to win, I'm not sure how you'd make such a game, my friend; unless you make the objective to lose
    If you wish to make a game in this vein I shall not stop you but I'm not much of a wargamer (and am allready got my name down for a game ran here by another member) so I would not take part. But here's the ball sir, you run all the way with it, as far as you like

    Leave a comment:


  • Karakris
    replied
    I NEVER heard of anyone Eating Dog's Bollocks - but then it is an interesting fact that we generally DON'T eat any kind of Meat from Carnivores - and Dogs are DEFINITELY Carnivores.

    When I had some Dogs - it was absolute bluddy murder to try to get them to Eat their Winalot, mixed with Meat and soaked in Gravy. They would pick out ever last bit of meat - and ignore the biscuit completely.
    However, in certain way they can be good scavengers - After we had stripped the meat from the Turkey carcass at Xmas - I used to chop the carcass in half and throw it to the two Dogs. Gone compeltely in ten seconds - Bones and all.

    Getting back to Bollocks.
    In the U.S.A. I have heard that they have a week-long Festival somewhere down in Texas, each year - where everyone is expected to dine on Bull's Pizzles ( Bollocks ), Fried I believe.

    Finally - as a man of England - Cadbury's just ain't what it used to be. However, Bigger Businesses down the Years, and "Globalisation" have totally WIPED OUT the existence of MANY Products, mostly Food Products - which were common and widely apreciated during my Youth. Sadly - England, Britain, the World - are NOT the places they were, when I was growing-up.
    I was Born in 1949 - and grew-up during the 1950's - when we had OMO Soap Powder ( washing powder ), Morton's Tinned Peas, Nestle's Chocolate ( NOT Nestle the FRENCH Chocolate Manufacturer ), Chiver's Jellies ( jello ), Chiver's Jams, Greengage Jam, Greengage Jelly ( jello ) - oh, WAY TOO MANY to bring them all to mind now.

    Seriously though, Folks - is anyone gonna make a FUN GameThread from the Original Ideas of the Highly Esteemed Mr. Sealous.
    I mean REALLY - The "Sillion Thread", maybe.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tuck's Luck
    replied
    Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
    In my day, something excellent was said to be "the bee's knees".

    I have no idea what that was about either.

    We are indeed a strange lot.


    Philip
    'The Dog's Bollocks' is indeed the equivalent of 'Bee's Knees' or the 'Cat's Whiskers.'

    Meaning
    Excellent - the absolute apex. In other contexts the word bollocks (meaning testicles) has a negative connotation; for example:

    - 'that's bollocks' -> 'that's rubbish'
    - 'give him a bollocking' -> 'chastise him'
    - 'He dropped a bollock' -> 'he made a mistake'

    The reasons why the 'dog's bollocks' are considered to be the top of the tree aren't clear. It may be linked to an associated phrase - 'stand out like a dog's balls', i.e. 'outstanding',

    Origin
    The word bollocks, meaning testicles has been part of the language since the 18th century, but didn't become used to mean nonsense until the early 20th century. The 'dog's bollocks' seems to have originated in Britain in the first half of the 20th century.

    In the 1980s the scurrilous magazine Viz used 'dog's bollocks' frequently; for example, they used it in the title of an issue in 1989:

    "Viz - The Dog's Bollocks: The Best of Issues 26 to 31."

    Who coined the phrase we aren't ever likely to know - it was most probably a street slang term that became established in common usage well before it ever got into print.

    A more detailed and lengthy explanation can be found here:

    http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/dog's%20bollocks.html

    Last edited by Tuck's Luck; 02 Jun 12, 04:58.

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  • DARKPLACE
    replied
    Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
    You're an admirer of dog's b*llocks?

    What's that about?


    Philip
    Given the time that dogs spend licking their bollocks they must be pretty good.

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  • johnbryan
    replied
    Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
    In my day, something excellent was said to be "the bee's knees".

    I have no idea what that was about either.

    We are indeed a strange lot.


    Philip
    Good lord, we eat our share of offal over here across the pond as well. Offhand I can think of everything from blood sausage, to deep fried cow brain sandwiches to fried pig guts-"chitluns," to fried "Scapple" which is everything on the pig excepting the "oink" and combined into a loaf There's also "mountain oysters" from cattle, pig or lamb testicles, deep fried chicken hearts and gizzards and pickled pig's feet. Lastly, there is "Head Cheese" which is not a cheese, but rather the scrapings from a pig's head, flavored with red pepper and solidified in a gelatine, making a nice luncheon meat. Haven't tried any dog bollocks though.

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