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Best and worst dressed of WW2

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  • Best and worst dressed of WW2

    THE TEN BEST AND WORST DRESSED OF WW 2

    THE BEST DRESSED

    1. British commandoes: Suave black roll neck jumper and matching black pants/ beanie/face paint, after all, elegance is simplicity taken to its extreme. (They also had an evil looking knife – slim, svelte and sexy)
    2. SS dress uniform: what can I say? Midnight black uniform with bright red armband to contrast the obligatory jackboots and silver “deaths head” motif on the hat. – Very sleek, chic and stylish.
    3. U.S. paratroopers: Funky and chunky uniform, these guys looked like one man armies with more pockets than your average pool hall, all bulging with equipment, especially when accessorized with the open weaved helmet liner or the glider pilots goggles perched on their helmet. (But not both – less is more, after all.)
    4. SS infantry: The first to use camouflage uniforms – giving a strong, independent man of the land look.
    5. Wehrmacht infantry: Combine the coolest “coal scuttle” helmet (way ahead of its time, just look at modern U.S. troops helmets) with the black jackboot and accessorize with the round lunch box/grenade tin hanging jauntily at the bottom of their pack and these guys just look like they are ready for combat and then a nice picnic.
    6. British paratroopers: Good camouflage pattern with complementing colors on a big blousy jacket belted at the waist and topped off with a very stylish red beret. Looking good!
    7. Afrika corps: Cool peaked cap, nice neutral colored beige uniform, eclectically accessorized with goggles and scarf to keep the sand out of their eyes/mouth and looking resplendent in their open-topped 4 wheel drives.
    8. U.S marines dress uniform: Predominantly blue uniform with contrasting white hat and gloves while the red stripe going up each trouser leg not only breaks up what could be too much blue but also makes the wearer look taller. Tres elegant!
    9. German tank crew: Slim, tight fitting and all black uniform make this a functional (the tight fitting design doesn’t get caught on anything in the tank and the black hides the grease, soot and oil stains) and attractive uniform. Finish this outfit off with the black beret and your looking good!
    10. British R.A.F. uniform: A sky blue matching trousers and short jacket with white shirt and tie. Deconstructed elegance with a “ready for combat/party” look that still oozes style.

    THE WORST DRESSED


    1. Italian infantry: although Italy has become the style capital of the world, during WW2 they looked horrid! Ill fitting uniforms with a terrible color scheme makes one want to surrender to the nearest allied soldier (even if he is a cook/postman)
    2. French pre 1942: Your going into combat and you are wearing a bright blue ensemble!!! Topped off with a helmet that looks like it belongs to the local fire chief!!! Have you no sense of occasion? Enough said.
    3. Russian infantry: Drab brown with a faux jackboot that just isn’t high enough to improve this otherwise plain and dreary uniform. The Tommy gun was their only accessory worth mentioning.
    4. U.S. navy dress uniform: All white is a dangerous color to wear as it can add 15 pounds but, if you watch those calories and get a tan then you can almost look good!
    5. Japanese infantry: What can I say? Drab color combined with puttees ridiculous helmet and a rifle longer than the average broomstick all combine to make the wearer self-conscious in any social circle.
    6. U.S. Air force enlisted men’s overalls: Basically this was a high quality potato sack with arms and legs. (Although they do have the best accessory!! (Who does not love the sheepskin lined leather-flying jacket?)
    7. Bersaglieri: The Italian light infantry went into combat wearing a pith helmet accessorized with the odd ostrich feather or two. While this may have been intimidating to any local natives armed with sharpened mangoes attacking the colonial Italian army, it had no chance of creating fear in the minds of any opponent that had a rifle. (or musket)
    8. British sailors: All blue, with a flat white hat and an apron hanging off the back of their shoulders. They also had seven horizontal creases on their pants to symbolize the seven seas but I can’t for the life of me remember reading anything about the Brits. being lord and masters of the Caspian sea so the least they could do is make it 6 creases. (Which, lets face it, is still 6 too many)
    9. German Gestapo: Seriously now, have you ever seen a better stereotype? Long leather jacket with homburg and wire rimmed glasses. For a supposed “secret police” they did a very good job of being noticed. I wonder if the entry test to the Gestapo required bad vision and no hair thus the need for the hat and glasses.
    10. The British infantry in Egypt/Libya: Imagine this, you are being attacked by a dozen panzer mark 3’s and a company of the Afrika corps and there you are ready to fight and what are you wearing? Ankle high boots, knee length socks, comically long shorts,(paint them red and any clown would be proud to wear them) a short-sleeved shirt and a helmet shaped like a pizza! Only a soldier as stoic and resolute as the British infantryman could ever begin to believe that he could possibly win. Not to mention that they were armed with a bolt-action rifle which has been scientifically proven to be marginally more effective than harsh language. (I am of the opinion that the Brits fought so hard in the desert because they were too embarrassed to be captured.)

  • #2
    Very, very good indeed!

    One Halloween I intend to dress up as a tank commander, with a fake carboard tank around my waist and held up with suspenders.

    Hehehehehehe!

    P

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    • #3
      Note that the Bersaglieri feather was not ostrich but rooster...
      And I find that the Wehrmacht uniform is disfigured by the stupid fake-leather mini boots they had to wear...
      Nothing is so exhilarating in life as to be shot at with no result
      Sir Winston Churchill

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      • #4
        Re: Best and worst dressed of WW2

        [quote="jp"]THE TEN BEST AND WORST DRESSED OF WW 2

        THE BEST DRESSED

        2. SS dress uniform: what can I say? Midnight black uniform with bright red armband to contrast the obligatory jackboots and silver “deaths head” motif on the hat. – Very sleek, chic and stylish.

        9. German Gestapo: Seriously now, have you ever seen a better stereotype? Long leather jacket with homburg and wire rimmed glasses. For a supposed “secret police” they did a very good job of being noticed. I wonder if the entry test to the Gestapo required bad vision and no hair thus the need for the hat and glasses.
        quote]

        Ha, Ha, these elements of fashion reminds me of an article concerning the Hugo Boss controversy a while back. Check this site out on the parody:
        http://www.thethirdrail.com/hugo/
        :twisted:
        regards

        John
        Duchess of Richmond: They're the salt of England.
        Duke of Wellington: Scum. Nothing but gutter trash and scum. Gin is the spirit of their patriotism.

        Waterloo 1970

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        • #5
          loved the site! thanx!

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          • #6
            LMAO :lol: Thanks for the site link..

            Comment


            • #7
              "91st Falschirmjager Regiment
              Description:
              Imagine the power, imagine the convenience of your very own force of elite Aryan stormtroopers, conditioned from birth to obey your every command, no matter how dangerous or bizarre. Best of all, each of your 1500 warriors is certified by Hugo Boss as 100% genetically pure, and outfitted with raw silk parachutes, ripstop combat gear, and black leather drop boots. From headquarters to hindquarters this is a unit that looks every bit as good as it fights"

              errr, well at least they'll look good wearing it

              My other favorite:
              "Mark VI Tiger Tank
              Description:
              Perfect for tooling around town or laying waste to the steppes. Be the envy of the office car pool or the League of Nations"

              in your face Hummer owners! :wink:

              cheers!
              Duchess of Richmond: They're the salt of England.
              Duke of Wellington: Scum. Nothing but gutter trash and scum. Gin is the spirit of their patriotism.

              Waterloo 1970

              Comment


              • #8
                Hmmm...this presents a conundrum, I'd suppose!

                Okay, one of the "Best Dressed" listed is the "Afrika Korps" and one of the "Worst Dressed" was the "U.K.'s forces in the Western Desert Theatre". It just so happens that the Germans would utilize the 'captured' stores of their erstwhile adversaries and this even included the Uniforms of such! Sure, they may have had the "snappy Caps" and all, but essentially, they HAD to use the 'suits' since they really didn't HAVE anything else of a 'proper' nature. Then again, the U.K.'s forces were grateful when THEY were able to get & use the German's 'Fuel Cans' until they developed a similiar one of their own. They referred to their OWN as "flimsy's" as that is WHAT they actually were!

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                • #9
                  I have only just noticed this post and admit it was extremly well written - plus it has finally cleared up some of my concern over your 'tactics' in the past - they were decided for resaons of fashion rather than military necessity!.
                  Legion's ASL AARs

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                  • #10
                    Legion, you've known me for ten years, you should know how shallow, vain and vacous i am!!!

                    (If i gotta die in a war the least the govt. can do is give me a funky uniform!!!)

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                    • #11
                      oh great another crow eater with a queer eye for the military guy!
                      Not lip service, nor obsequious homage to superiors, nor servile observance of forms and customs...the Australian army is proof that individualism is the best and not the worst foundation upon which to build up collective discipline - General Monash

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                      • #12
                        Speaking of the Afrika Korps/British N African infantry uniforms.I remember the movie "Play Dirty",the opening 10 minutes is a guy in a jeep running around the desert,the radio tuned to Lilli Marlene.As the guy approaches British lines,he takes off the Afrika Korps cap,puts on a British officers cap,switches the radio channel to "You are my Sunshine,my only Sunshine",and boom,he's now British....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You missed the Finnish army's uniforms of ww2, being a poor country, all I can say is ... secunda german replica... Good winter gear though.
                          As for the black ss, well it brings to mind something Freddy Mercury would have weared... highly suspect...

                          actually, as fashion has to be practicable, I think the latter war, us GI had the best kit, ammo on the waist , no stufff dangling around, the brits had these two horrible ammo poaches on their chests, it was hell crawling with them.
                          German geer of the waffen ss and other frontline units like fallschirm later on were good, russians went with simplicity.
                          Romanian stuff wasnt so hot either...

                          Spit pilots sheepskin coat with silk scarf, not a bad outfit...
                          "SI VIS PACEM, PARA BELLUM" - " If you want peace, prepare for war".

                          If acted upon in time, ww2 could have been stopped without a single bullet being fired. - Sir Winston Churchill

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                          • #14
                            One problem... the US Marine's Dress Blue Bloodstripe is only for officers and NCO's... the enlisted men don't have them.
                            The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. -Carl Jung

                            Hell is other people. -Jean-Paul Sarte

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                            • #15
                              Worst dressed honorable mention:

                              Hermann Goering.
                              Barcsi Jnos ispn vezrőrnagy
                              Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2003 & 2006


                              "Never pet a burning dog."

                              RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:
                              http://www.mormon.org
                              http://www.sca.org
                              http://www.scv.org/
                              http://www.scouting.org/

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