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How About Some of the Funny Moments When You Were There??? There had to be some laugh

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  • How About Some of the Funny Moments When You Were There??? There had to be some laugh

    I have read some funny stuff, but I know you guys remember the laughs too!

    We need a light moment, no challenges, no debate...just some funny stories - I got to thinking about this when I read some stuff about the pet goat I posted the picture of, PFC Billie G.

    How can you not smile at that

  • #2
    Originally posted by KEN JENSEN View Post
    Water buffalo were the beast of burden for the Vietnamese people. The folks tending the rice paddies would always use these animals while tending their paddies. You could always spot little kids beating/coaching/steering these animals with a stick and/or riding on the backs of these beasts. One had the impressions that these were fairly docile animals because the way they were cared for and used by the local folks and kids. However, let a GI get within the smelling distance of these creatures and you would think the GI was waving a red cape in the middle of a bullring hollering TORO TORO!

    When these beasts were not in use, the locals would sometime pen these animals up in the center of a road/path that went through their village. By center I mean the PENS were located between rows of hoochs with about 5 meters from a hooch on one side of the road/path, and about another 5 meters from another hooch directly across from the first hooch. The pens themselves were about 5 meters square and dug about one or two meters deep, forming a bull pit. The pit was corralled off with small to medium tree limbs.

    Heard a story once that a GI had shot a water buffalo with an M79 Grenade round, that hadn’t yet armed, and the round went right through the midsection of the beast and it hardly phased the beast.

    Anyway, one day we were searching this village (the folks had skipped town). The only thing left in the village were the animals (dogs, chickens, pigs, and penned up water buffalo). One of my troops was about 5 meters in front of me walking between a hooch and a bull pin that contained a very pissed off water buffalo. This beast jumped out of the pit, broke the corral fence, and was inches away from the troop before receiving an M16 bullet between the eyes. Water buffalo instantly dropped with one horn barely missing the mid-section of my troop. Troop scared – I’m laughing – troop pissed at me for laughing.

    Friggin war; had to report the killing of one water buffalo. Naturally management was pissed off. How we ever gonna win the “hearts and minds”?.



    • #3
      Bear with me. This really is a funny story about when I was in Viet Nam. It's just that it didn't turn funny for many years.

      As I have mentioned in other threads, I used to be a veterans benefits counselor -- service officer if you will. When you help one vet with a particularly involved claim, they sometimes want to send an acquaintance, thinking that you can do the same for him or her. This is one of those stories. It starts out, or perhaps ends, in the early 1980s. (after I grew up and started looking like an adult)

      I had helped a WWII veteran. His claim was not that involved, but it had been messed up and I just straightened it out. It really was no big deal, but the veteran thought it was a big deal because he felt all was lost before finally coming to me. So he told me that his son-in-law had been having trouble with the VA since he came back from Viet Nam and asked if I would mind helping, even though the younger vet lived in a different state.

      . It seemed the guy filed a claim for disability benefits beyond the one year presumptive period and had zero medical records to back up his claim. The claim was for a back injury, hearing loss and ankle injury as I recall, but it really doesn't matter what the claimed conditions were. The vet was claiming disability benefits for residuals of conditions not shown by his service medical records. Plus he did not have a Purple Heart. Beyond that, he claimed that everyone with him at the time was dead, so no buddy statements. Okay, doesn't that peg your BS meter? Still, I agreed to see the young man and give it my best shot.

      Some months later the older vet brought his SIL to meet with me. The SIL lived in a different state so by the time we met I had forgotten all about the story related to me by the father-in-law.

      So the FIL introduces us and says he was going to grab a cup of coffee and be back later. But the strangest thing the FIL said was, "Maybe you guys knew each other in Viet Nam."

      The guy was not from my unit so I told the FIL that it was impossible. The FIL departed and the SIL gave me his VA records to review. It was the usual stuff -- the guy claiming service connection and the VA asking for some evidence. A no-win situation.

      As I read the VA stuff, this vet started relating to me his improbable story. I was real sceptical at first, but I listened. It was my job to listen and the only way I could at least insure that the vet received due process from VA.

      He started by telling me that he was an APC driver in The Big Red One. So far so good. Then he told me that he got ambushed and they started really tearing up his machine with RPGs and such. Then he told me that was when the rest of his crew got killed. I was thinking. :Yeah, right, then how did you escape?"

      Then his story got real bizarre. This was the same story he had been telling the VA for years and they weren't buying it -- not that I blamed them. He told me that he was rescued by a bunch of Mountagnard children. Okay, that's possible. But then he said that they were lead by a little Caucasian boy wearing Bermuda shorts, a tee shirt and tennis shoes -- maybe about 14 years old. He said that he just figured that the Caucasian was probably the child of missionaries or something.

      Hmmm, I'm starting to wonder...

      Then he said something that really caught my attention. He said that after dispatching the Viet Cong, the children took him to a "Green Beret" camp a few clicks away. But he couldn't remember the name of the camp or the medic who treated him, and no records from that camp made it back to his unit. His bell had been rung so badly that he could even hear much at first.

      So I asked him, "Did this occur on May 11, 1969?"

      He was speechless at first, then said, "Yes, how could you know that? Did you see it in the stuff I brought?"

      My response was, "Nope, the date isn't mentioned. Oh, and I was twenty."

      He said, "Huh?"

      I said, "I was twenty years old, not 14. And I liked to wear Bermuda shorts and tennis shoes sometimes when I was in camp. Your may-day came in and I didn't have time to change clothes. And our Montagnards all swore that they were at least 16 years old."

      I wrote the buddy statement telling the VA the rest of he story, to include how I found him dazed and with blood coming out of his ears. I also gave them my VA file number so they could verify that I was indeed there as I had been wounded at almost the exact same spot the month before, and the following month I was wounded at the camp where he was treated. I also gave them the name, rank and social security number of the medic that treated the guy so they could cross-check my statement. The claim was obviously approved almost immediately.

      Unfortunately the father-in-law continued to think of me as some sort of miracle worker, when it was nothing but one really strange coincidence.

      Of course, I had to eat crow when when the FIL came back and we told him that we really did know each other in Viet Nam. It's a small, small world...
      The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated ~ Mark Twain


      • #4
        You gotta admit that's a pretty durn amazing story.

        I had a guy call me yesterday about cleaning up his laptop. While talking, he told me about steaming into Haiphong Harbor in 1972. I made 6 trips there and told him so...asked what ship he was on. He didn't recall which ship--was transfered around a lot.

        Told me he would be here by 0900. Something must have happened because I'm still waiting.

        My brother gets 10% tinittus and 10% bilateral hearing loss compensation and some shipmates get the same. My brother because of engine room duty and my old buds because of us firing the 5"/54's on the ship 22,000 odd times.

        My brother's VSO never blinked when I asked if Larry might be suffering from Deep Purple at max volume instead of something service related. I love Deep Purple and am gonna get out and see if it's worth about $260 a month.


        • #5
          There's on old saying that says something about everybody from your past being two phone calls or less away. It's just that we seldom know who to call, and they might not know who to call either. But sometimes the stars line up, or whatever. In this case, the son-in-law needed to call the father-in-law, who needed to call me. It was just that none of us knew that until it all happened quite by accident.

          I have handled a lot of claims over the years, so there have been a number of strange cases with strange outcomes. I had one in 1975 where a Vietnamese lady came into my office right after the fall of Saigon. She came in through Norton AFB and my office was right there in San Bernardino.

          She had married a GI who got out and stayed with her in Viet Nam. Shortly before the fall of Saigon he died in a civilian hospital there. No records for cause of death and such, but I was convinced that there was a chance for service connected death benefits for this young widow.

          I started making phone calls. The first one was to the charity running the hospital in Saigon. They told me that they did not have time to save many of the records. In the phone call they said they did have the duty roster though.

          The widow was still sitting at my desk so I asked her the exact day and time of her husband's death. I gave it to the person on the phone and they gave me the name, current location and phone number of the duty doctor. I called him up and he remembered everything, as it had only been a few weeks earlier. But the biggest coincidence was that he was by that time working in Loma Linda -- 12 miles from my office. I had a notorized cause of death statement from the attending physician sitting on my desk before close of business that day.

          Two phone calls...

          Sometimes we know who to call, sometimes we don't.
          The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated ~ Mark Twain


          • #6
            Originally posted by Miss Saigon View Post
            Miss Saigon,

            Where is your proper riding apparel and gear?
            Flag: USA / Location: West Coast






            • #7
              February 1967.

              Two of our guys were going to be derosing so we had a going away party for them the evening before. They were catching a Panam flight out of TanSonNhut at about 2:00 a.m.

              It was a splendid party, and everyone including our derosers got well and truly inebriated.

              Next morning one of our party was missing. Next day, still missing. A couple of days later he come back, and relates the following story.

              He was so drunk, that he decided to go with them to TanSonNhut to see them off. Somehow he managed to get on the plane and fall asleep in a drunken stupor, waking up when the plane landed at Tachikawa for refueling. He decided that it would be best if he stayed aboard and turn himself in when the plane got to Travis.

              Now this is where it gets kinda strange - apparently they were unable to charge him with AWOL because he actually turned himself in prior to being discovered missing (something to do with the Intl Date Line)

              He did however have to pay for his return flight, and made it known that he didn't mind being the subject of a disciplinary transfer as long as it was not to that hell hole "BearCat" (which is exactly where they sent him and exactly where he wanted to go).
              Vietnam - US Army, Aug 66-Feb 68
              Vietnam - USG Civilian, Feb 68-Aug 71
              Special Agent/Criminal Investigator - US Customs Jan 72-Jan 2001
              Wannabe Concert and Sports Photographer


              • #8
                A very short story that amused my dad and me.

                Originally posted by Joseph F. S. Jr. USAF E-7 (Retired) Born:1926 Died:1993
                As he was rotating out; in the transiant quarters, a young black airman asked him why him was shaking out his boots. When Dad told him that it was to make sure no snakes or spiders had taken up quarters there. The black airman rolled over on his back and stare at the ceiling. Oh Lord; I'm not going to survive a year here.- the airman said. Dad reassured him he had a very good chance to live and go home.
                Full minibio can be read here:

                I really should go in and fix the typos.

                To you Dad.
                Eagles may fly; but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!

                "I'm not expendable; I'm not stupid and I'm not going." - Kerr Avon, Blake's 7

                What didn't kill us; didn't make us smarter.


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