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  • Disappointing food experiences

    Have you had any experiences with disappointing food in shops, kitchens, restaurants, etc?

    I’ve had a lot, and I’m not generally a picky eater. I’ll start with breakfast. While staying at a high-end hotel in Thailand, I developed a yearning for a bowl of breakfast Corn Flakes. I had not seen said cereal in decades. So I called over the waiter:

    Me: Do you have any Corn Flakes?

    Waiter: Coffee?

    Me: No. Not coffee. Corn Flakes. I would like to have some Corn Flakes.

    Waiter: Ah…. Core Fae?

    (people in this region habitually miss off the end of English words)

    Me: Yes. Corn Flakes. I would like a bowl of Corn Flakes with my breakfast.

    Waiter: Yes. Have. Core Fae have.

    Me: Thank you. One bowl of Corn Flakes please.

    (ten minutes later, the waiter returns and puts down a plate in front of me. On the plate is a dead, raw fish.

    Me: What’s this!!!?!!!

    Waiter: This? This core fae!



    COLD FISH!!!

    Philip
    Last edited by PhilipLaos; 12 Sep 10, 21:33.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

  • #2
    I had arrived in Hong Kong (then a British colony) after years spent living in Saudi Arabia, Spain, Thailand, etc. and realised it had been decades since I had enjoyed the wondrous taste and texture of a British pork pie.

    Greatly encouraged by the knowledge that Hong Kong had benefitted from British rule for generations plus the observation that the place was full of supermarkets, I went into the nearest one to my hotel and looked for the pies section.

    Couldn't find it, so I went up to the checkout clerk.

    Me: Excuse me. Where are the pies?

    Clerk: Pie?

    Me: Yes, pies. Where is the section where you keep the pies?

    Clerk: Ah, pie! Pie.....no have pie!

    Ovewhelmed with with justifiable British disappointment and anger, I let fly at the poor clerk.

    Me: You don't have pies!!!! You don't have pies!!! You're supposed to be a British colony!!!..............How can you be a British colony if you don't have pies!!!!!!!!




    Sorry about that.

    Philip
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

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    • #3
      Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
      Have you had any experiences with disappointing food in shops, kitchens, restaurants, etc?

      I’ve had a lot, and I’m not generally a picky eater. I’ll start with breakfast. While staying at a high-end hotel in Thailand, I developed a yearning for a bowl of breakfast Corn Flakes. I had not seen said cereal in decades. So I called over the waiter:

      Me: Do you have any Corn Flakes?

      Waiter: Coffee?

      Me: No. Not coffee. Corn Flakes. I would like to have some Corn Flakes.

      Waiter: Ah…. Core Fae?

      (people in this region habitually miss off the end of English words)

      Me: Yes. Corn Flakes. I would like a bowl of Corn Flakes with my breakfast.

      Waiter: Yes. Have. Core Fae have.

      Me: Thank you. One bowl of Corn Flakes please.

      (ten minutes later, the waiter returns and puts down a plate in front of me. On the plate is a dead, raw fish.

      Me: What’s this!!!?!!!

      Waiter: This? This core fae!



      COLD FISH!!!

      Philip
      That's pretty funny!
      ALL LIVES SPLATTER!

      BLACK JEEPS MATTER!

      BLACK MOTORCYCLES MATTER!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
        Ovewhelmed with with justifiable British disappointment and anger, I let fly at the poor clerk.

        Me: You don't have pies!!!! You don't have pies!!! You're supposed to be a British colony!!!..............How can you be a British colony if you don't have pies!!!!!!!!
        Understandable, old chap. Those riff raff from the colonies need to be reminded
        of their place, and that not having pork pies is clearly a case of them getting above themselves.
        Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the cheesemakers

        That's right bitches. I'm blessed!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Rojik View Post
          Understandable, old chap. Those riff raff from the colonies need to be reminded
          of their place, and that not having pork pies is clearly a case of them getting above themselves.
          Indeed!

          And it’s not just the oriental colonials who mess with our proper food. The American colonials are not much better!

          Consider this. On my first visit to New York, I called down to the hotel room service late at night to order a roast beef sandwich.

          We should note here that a British roast beef sandwich at that time (and probably now) consisted of a few slices of roast beef placed between two slices of buttered bread. Hardly rocket science, and something even the Americans should have little problem with. However, the telephone conversation with the hotel room service went like this:

          Room Service: Room service. How may I help you?

          Philip: Ah, yes. I’d like to order a roast beef sandwich.

          Room Service: O.K. One roast beef sandwich. What do you want in it?

          Philip: Pardon?

          Room Service: What do you want in it?

          Philip: Er……..roast beef.

          Room Service: Yeah, I know. But what do you want in it?

          Philip: Roast beef!!!

          Room Service: IN the sandwich……..what do you want IN the sandwich?

          Philip: ROAST BEEF!!! I want a sandwich with ROAST BEEF IN IT!!!

          Room Service: O.K. O.K...........I’ll bring it up to your room in ten minutes.

          The sandwich arrived in the said ten minutes. That’s when I realised what he had been on about. As well as roast beef, the sandwich contained lettuce, tomatoes and lots of other stuff!

          Naturally, I removed the lettuce, tomatoes and other offending vegetables before eating!


          Philip
          "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

          Comment


          • #6
            Ah yes. British food. You do have to have an acquired lack of taste to enjoy it.
            "Ask not what your country can do for you"

            Left wing, Right Wing same bird that they are killing.

            you’re entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
              Indeed!

              And it’s not just the oriental colonials who mess with our proper food. The American colonials are not much better!

              Consider this. On my first visit to New York, I called down to the hotel room service late at night to order a roast beef sandwich.

              We should note here that a British roast beef sandwich at that time (and probably now) consisted of a few slices of roast beef placed between two slices of buttered bread. Hardly rocket science, and something even the Americans should have little problem with. However, the telephone conversation with the hotel room service went like this:

              Room Service: Room service. How may I help you?

              Philip: Ah, yes. I’d like to order a roast beef sandwich.

              Room Service: O.K. One roast beef sandwich. What do you want in it?

              Philip: Pardon?

              Room Service: What do you want in it?

              Philip: Er……..roast beef.

              Room Service: Yeah, I know. But what do you want in it?

              Philip: Roast beef!!!

              Room Service: IN the sandwich……..what do you want IN the sandwich?

              Philip: ROAST BEEF!!! I want a sandwich with ROAST BEEF IN IT!!!

              Room Service: O.K. O.K...........I’ll bring it up to your room in ten minutes.

              The sandwich arrived in the said ten minutes. That’s when I realised what he had been on about. As well as roast beef, the sandwich contained lettuce, tomatoes and lots of other stuff!

              Naturally, I removed the lettuce, tomatoes and other offending vegetables before eating!


              Philip
              You British people are obviously missing the joys of the local deli, the hero shop, or a Quiznos restaurant

              We Americans love adding all sorts of things to our sandwiches.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Half Pint John View Post
                Ah yes. British food. You do have to have an acquired lack of taste to enjoy it.
                Our attitude towards food is perhaps best summed by somethng a waitress in Hong Kong said to me:

                "Bleetish guys are the wors customer! They only wanna eet foot like their Mummy make!"

                Philip
                Last edited by PhilipLaos; 14 Sep 10, 17:47.
                "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by philiplaos View Post
                  Our attitude towards food is perhaps best summed by somethng a waitress in Hong Kong said to me:

                  "Bleetish guys are the wors customer! They only wanna eet foot like their Mummy make!"

                  Philip


                  I would suggest those that go abroad and still want Fish and Chips with the usual available British bar beer state that.

                  Some of us go abroad to actually try the local stuff regardless what it looks (or tastes) like .

                  Since you are in Laos I assume you agree ?
                  How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic: http://grist.org/series/skeptics/
                  Global Warming & Climate Change Myths: https://www.skepticalscience.com/argument.php

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                  • #10
                    Well...in my opinion, the "CHILI'S" restaurant (at least the one nearest my ) really SUCKS!
                    ARRRR! International Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19th
                    IN MARE IN COELO

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by jose50 View Post
                      Well...in my opinion, the "CHILI'S" restaurant (at least the one nearest my ) really SUCKS!
                      Our's is pretty good... I like the Chicken Fahitas with mushrooms, bacon, and cheese . I leave off the onions and peppers which most people like.
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                      • #12
                        When my wife insists on getting McDonald's chicken McNuggets I always order them, "and hold the beaks", that usually gets an interesting response from the drive-thru operator.
                        Lance W.

                        Peace through superior firepower.

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                        • #13
                          Disappointing food experiences
                          Not having any. When c rats are good, and they have been, I find everything else I eat to be pretty dandy.
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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Nick the Noodle View Post


                            I would suggest those that go abroad and still want Fish and Chips with the usual available British bar beer state that.

                            Some of us go abroad to actually try the local stuff regardless what it looks (or tastes) like .

                            Since you are in Laos I assume you agree ?
                            That's easy for you to say Nick! You probably only go to foreign parts for one or two weeks a year and can easily endure the unavailability of proper food for that length of time.

                            The rest of the year, you are at home in No-vowel-land where I'll bet you are never more than 20 minutes away from the nearest pork pie outlet!

                            Why, I'll bet you can even lay your hand on a sausage roll should the need arise!

                            And then.......there may even be............. Cornish pasties!


                            Philip
                            Last edited by PhilipLaos; 18 Sep 10, 20:01.
                            "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Instead of following the thread title of most disappointing food experiences, I'd like to put in a plug for the best grub I can remember.

                              Fish and chips from a street vendor in Singapore circa 1970. Six huge slabs of fish and more fries than you could eat, wrapped in newspaper for 1.50 Singapore dollars (50¢).

                              Back to our regularly scheduled thread...
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