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Man placed on sex offender's registry for f**king bike

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  • Man placed on sex offender's registry for f**king bike

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/26/bike_incident/
    Bike bonk bloke lands on sex offenders' register
    Cleaners catch cycle molester in flagrante delicto

    A man who was caught in flagrante delicto attempting sexual intercourse with a bicycle has been placed on the sex offenders' register, the Telegraph reports.

    Robert Stewart earned himself a hearing at Ayr Sheriff Court following the incident last October when two "extremely shocked" cleaners at local Aberley House Hostel discovered him getting down and dirty with the bike.

    Depute fiscal Gail Davidson told the court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

    The cleaners duly alerted the hostel's manager, who called in the police.

    Stewart on Wednesday admitted to sexual breach of the peace, and was placed on the sex offenders' register. Sentencing was deferred until next month.

  • #2
    Well this defies comment.

    I think I hurt my brain just thinking about it.

    The cleaners likely were old women with no sense of humour.

    But the sentence seems to make the UK look stupid. What next, unable to be alone with a bike unsupervised? Not allowed to go near bike stores or sports departments?
    Life is change. Built models for decades.
    Not sure anyone here actually knows the real me.
    I didn't for a long time either.

    Comment


    • #3
      Um... good taste aside, what exactly did he do wrong? I'm not aware of any laws that prohibit simulated sexual intercourse with vehicles.
      "I am not an atomic playboy."
      Vice Admiral William P. Blandy

      Comment


      • #4
        He did this in a private room so it would be okay. However he did not answer repeated knocks at the door and clearly wanted to be seen in the nude engaging in this act. A case can be made for exposure and public indecency and that is the basis of the case against him I'd say.
        As lord and master of your grill, you will welcome any opportunity to display your grilling prowess.
        Mario Batali, 2006

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mirrorshades View Post
          Um... good taste aside, what exactly did he do wrong? I'm not aware of any laws that prohibit simulated sexual intercourse with vehicles.
          THINK OF THE BIKE'S FEELINGS!

          Do you think he called the bike later?

          Comment


          • #6
            Smells like a setup.

            Maybe it was one of those cop bikes undercover.
            ACG QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
            ¿Cualquier persona fija en el nude? Slug

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            • #7
              Maybe he is a serious biker ?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by CPangracs View Post
                THINK OF THE BIKE'S FEELINGS!

                Do you think he called the bike later?

                But what if The Bicycle was asking for it?

                Maybe the man noticed it on the street all nice & shiny like with those little tassles hanging from the handle bars w/a cute little horn too.

                Maybe it had Book Holders attached to the rear fenders, giving it a look as though it had junk in the trunk.

                I often see women walking bicycles down the street & now I know why.

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                • #9
                  Good taste aside the cleaners do seem to have had a sense of humour bypass.
                  It seems a bit much to go to the police and convict someone, potentially causing them to lose their job, (I am presuming the individual wasn't married or has a girlfriend)etc. for doing something to an inaminate object in private.
                  "To be free is better than to be unfree - always."

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                  • #10
                    how do you have sex with a bike?

                    Never mind I do not want to know.
                    Are we there yet?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "sexual breach of the peace"

                      What is that? This is a crime? Like if you are too loud?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Miss.Saigon View Post
                        "sexual breach of the peace"

                        What is that? This is a crime? Like if you are too loud?
                        Probably had a card in the spokes.



                        *Ba-dum tisch*

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                        • #13
                          Dammit Red Star! I will never be able to think of a man riding a bike again without recalling this thread.
                          ACG QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
                          ¿Cualquier persona fija en el nude? Slug

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cyberia View Post
                            Dammit Red Star! I will never be able to think of a man riding a bike again without recalling this thread.
                            What possible reason would you have to think of a man riding a bike on a regular basis???
                            "I am not an atomic playboy."
                            Vice Admiral William P. Blandy

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It sure makes the phrase "riding a bike" altogether different now though.

                              I wonder, was it a girl's bike? Was the bike under age?

                              If it was a guys bike, is that like homosexual bike love?
                              Life is change. Built models for decades.
                              Not sure anyone here actually knows the real me.
                              I didn't for a long time either.

                              Comment

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