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even more jokes

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  • even more jokes

    A couple drove down a country road for
    several miles, not saying a word. An earlier
    discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
    wanted to concede their position. As they passed a
    barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
    "Relatives of yours?"

    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch.
    "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

    David Beckham decides to go horse riding.
    Although he has no previous experience, he skilfully mounts the horse and appears in complete control of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.

    Victoria stands by admiringly watching her husband.

    After a short while, David becomes a little casual, and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle.
    He panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.
    Victoria starts to scream and shout for somebody to help her husband, as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

    David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot becomes entangled in one of the stirrups.
    As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness


    Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help.


    Hearing the screams, a security guard comes out of the store and.... unplugs the horse!

    Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke,
    when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut
    off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
    Her friend said, "What's that?"
    The first lady replied, "A condom. This way, my cigarette doesn't
    get wet."
    "Where did you get it from?"
    "You can get them at any chemist's."
    The next day, the friend hobbled down to the local chemist on her
    zimmer frame and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted a
    packet of condoms.
    The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, over
    80 years old), but politely asked what brand she preferred.
    "It doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."
    Last edited by Post Captain; 11 Aug 07, 11:20.
    Never Fear the Event

    Admiral Lord Nelson

  • #2
    HaHaHa these are funny
    "You can tell a lot about a fella's character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful." -explaining why Reagan liked to have a jar of jelly beans on hand for important meetings

    CO for 1st S.INC Shock Security Troop


    • #3
      Very nice mike .


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