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How many cows ya got???

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  • How many cows ya got???

    A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
    when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses
    and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
    exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me
    a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
    peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
    it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
    Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
    exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite
    that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports
    it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds,
    he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
    and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC
    connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
    minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color,
    150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and
    finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
    the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
    what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why

    You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing was required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
    though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
    knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
    than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd
    of sheep.

    Now give me back my dog.
    "Ask not what your country can do for you"

    Left wing, Right Wing same bird that they are killing.

    you’re entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts.

  • #2
    even better than the last joke.
    Never Fear the Event

    Admiral Lord Nelson


    • #3
      now that is a classic!
      Now it's ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
      In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
      Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it


      • #4
        I've heard many different versions of this joke but this one is the best out of all of them
        "You can tell a lot about a fella's character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful." -explaining why Reagan liked to have a jar of jelly beans on hand for important meetings

        CO for 1st S.INC Shock Security Troop


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