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  • #76

    “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

    The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

    Comment


    • #77

      “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

      The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

      Comment


      • #78
        The major was assigned to a new office on a military base. While he worked to set up his office, a private knocked on the door. The major quickly picked up the phone and motioned for the private to enter.

        On the phone the major said, "Yes, General Schwarzkopf, I think that is an excellent idea. . . . No sir, that's fine, you feel free to call me any time. I'm glad I can help. . . . Yes sir, I will, and you give my best to your family as well. Thank you sir, and a good day to you too, General Schwarzkopf."

        As the major hung up the phone he turned to the private and asked, "What can I do for you, private?"

        Sheepishly, the private mumbled, "Um, sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone."
        Last edited by slick24; 05 Sep 18, 10:12.

        “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

        The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

        Comment


        • #79
          An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. weapon in his hand, having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is ****."

          An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from a plane and jogged 18 miles, says with a smile, "This is good ****."

          A Navy Seal lies in the mud, 55-pound pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming 10 miles to shore, crawling through a swamp, and running 25 miles at night past enemy positions, says with a grin, "This is really great ****."

          A Marine, up to his nose in the stinking, bug-infested mud of a swamp with a 65-pound pack on his back and weapons in both hands after jumping from an aircraft at high altitude into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through the brush to assault an enemy camp, says, "I love this ****."

          An Air Force NCO sits in an easy chair in an air-conditioned, carpeted office in front of his computer and says, "My e-mail is out? What kind of **** is this?"
          Last edited by slick24; 05 Sep 18, 09:54.

          “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

          The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

          Comment


          • #80
            An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.

            The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.

            When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded:

            "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"

            “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

            The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

            Comment


            • #81
              A young lieutenant was passed by a private, who failed to salute. The lieutenant called him back, and said sternly:

              "You did not salute me. For this you will immediately salute two hundred times."

              At this moment the General came up.

              "What's all this?" he exclaimed, seeing the poor private about to begin.

              The lieutenant explained.

              "This ignoramus failed to salute me, and as a punishment, I am making him salute two hundred times."

              "Quite right," replied the General, smiling. "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute in return."

              “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

              The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

              Comment


              • #82
                The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

                "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

                The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

                "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

                The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

                "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but.."

                "Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

                "No sir," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."
                Last edited by slick24; 05 Sep 18, 09:57.

                “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

                The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

                Comment


                • #83


                  Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

                  “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

                  The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"

                    "John," the new seaman replied.

                    "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled.

                    "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as Chief. Do I make myself clear?"

                    "Aye, Aye, Chief!"

                    "Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

                    The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."

                    "Okay, John, here's what I want you to do."

                    “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

                    The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
                      There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance,
                      one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
                      She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
                      "Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature."
                      The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
                      The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
                      The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,
                      "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
                      The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
                      Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way,
                      but when is the last time you had sex?"
                      The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955."
                      She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!
                      I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?"
                      The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "You think so? It's only 2130 now."

                      “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” -- Albert Einstein

                      The US Constitution doesn't need to be rewritten it needs to be reread

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by andrewza View Post
                        Beautiful!!

                        Mountain Man, Ret'd Army Chief Warrant Officer
                        Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

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