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Hello All,
My name is Ashley and I am the one that moved the forum to its new hosting location. This was done for*security reasons and try to keep the forum from going down every other day.*I understand that the new forum looks very different from the old one but I promise almost everything you had before you still have it might just be in a different place. Awards it one of the only things that have gone away and won't be coming back. that is due to a limitation of the new hosting.

As I was going thought your posts I was able to fix a lot fo the issues you were listing. Below is kind of a running list of issues an what is fixed and what I am still working on.

Items that I have fixed from your comments:
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Some issues I am still working on are:
- Missing items from the*Calendar
- Like button the posts is giving an error.

If anyone has any issues that they are running in to please let me know in the post below.
https://forums.armchairgeneral.com/forum/world-history-group-welcomes-you/armchair-general-magazine/5034776-new-site-please-read
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Can we get a military humor thread going?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by GCoyote View Post
    My contribution.



    Thread Stickied, have fun guys.
    I remember this from the earliest days of the internet. Still makes me smile...

    Comment


    • #32
      Caution- language:
      Soldier Writes Letter To NFL Player Who Bashed ‘Unskilled’ Military
      ...
      We are a team organization, like you, but instead of having a world-class training staff, ours is a disgruntled medic who gives out Motrin and tells us to quit being a pussy. Our coach is a 22-year-old Lieutenant who’s calling plays based off of a college degree and no experience. Our owner is an American public who left the game at halftime to go ****ing shopping. And when was the last time you were tackled in the back by a guy who’s supposedly on your team?
      ****, in our game, there’s no timeout. We don’t get a break to pick a play. There’s no trophy for us at the end of a battle, except for our medals and combat badges and ****, but regardless, we don’t do this for the glory. There’s no platoon of supermodel gold diggers waiting for us when we come off the field. We marry fat chicks so we can make about an extra thousand a month.
      ...
      http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/09/so...lled-military/

      Comment


      • #33
        Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

        On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
        That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

        On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
        That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

        On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
        The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
        http://g.bf3stats.com/pc/1LP76r6C/melba_101.png

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        • #34
          Attached Files
          http://g.bf3stats.com/pc/1LP76r6C/melba_101.png

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          • #35
            you think you a real "bleep" solders you "bleep" plastic solders don't wory i will make you in to real "bleep" solders!! "bleep" plastic solders

            CPO Mzinyati

            Comment


            • #36
              A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

              The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

              "You must be an NCO," says the balloonist.

              "I am" replies the man. "How did you know?"

              "Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

              The man below says "You must be an Officer".

              "I am" replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"

              "Well," says the NCO, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
              you think you a real "bleep" solders you "bleep" plastic solders don't wory i will make you in to real "bleep" solders!! "bleep" plastic solders

              CPO Mzinyati

              Comment


              • #37
                A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.

                Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"

                "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
                you think you a real "bleep" solders you "bleep" plastic solders don't wory i will make you in to real "bleep" solders!! "bleep" plastic solders

                CPO Mzinyati

                Comment


                • #38
                  U.S. Marine Corps Rules:
                  1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
                  2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
                  3. Have a plan.
                  4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
                  5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
                  6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
                  7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
                  8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
                  9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
                  10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
                  11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
                  12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
                  13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to be communicating your intention to shoot.

                  Navy SEALS Rules:

                  1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
                  2. Kill every living thing within view.
                  3. Adjust speedo.
                  4. Check hair in mirror.

                  U.S. Army Rangers Rules:

                  1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
                  2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
                  3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
                  4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
                  5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

                  U.S. Army Rules:

                  1. Select a new beret to wear.
                  2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
                  3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

                  US Air Force Rules:

                  1. Have a cocktail.
                  2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
                  3. See what's on HBO.
                  4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
                  5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
                  6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
                  7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
                  8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
                  9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

                  US Navy Rules:

                  1. Go to Sea.
                  2. Drink Coffee.
                  3. Watch porn.
                  4. Deploy the Marines.
                  you think you a real "bleep" solders you "bleep" plastic solders don't wory i will make you in to real "bleep" solders!! "bleep" plastic solders

                  CPO Mzinyati

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by andrewza View Post
                    A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.

                    Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"

                    "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
                    I am pretty sure that in blackadder goes fourth I can't find the scene but I am pretty sure it is in the first episode of seriese 4
                    http://g.bf3stats.com/pc/1LP76r6C/melba_101.png

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                    • #40
                      Gaza militants demonstrate proper pistol using tactics, helicopter takeover tactics and handshake tactics:
                      https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151926520749344

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Golani View Post
                        Gaza militants demonstrate proper pistol using tactics, helicopter takeover tactics and handshake tactics:
                        https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151926520749344
                        that backflip at the end, was he Spetsnaz?

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Psyhcoward View Post
                          that backflip at the end, was he Spetsnaz?
                          The title reads "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", so....

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Golani View Post
                            The title reads "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", so....
                            LOL

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              How the services secure a building:

                              Marines: Call in an air strike then assault the building with a mechanized infanty force who take the pile of rubble thoroughly douching it with flamethrowers. Plant flag on smouldering rubble. Building secured.

                              Army. Entrench around the building with field fortifications. Set up interlocking fields of machinegun fire and have a massive artillery fire plan for support. Emplace wire and mines. Building is secured.

                              Air Force: Negotiate a 20 year lease with buy back agreement and an attached civilian maintenance rider to enure its upkeep. Building secured.

                              Navy: Last man out turn off the lights and lock the door. Building secured.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the cheesemakers

                                That's right bitches. I'm blessed!

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