Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

You know English ?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • You know English ?

    We polish the Polish furniture.
    He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    A farm can produce produce.
    The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
    The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    The present is a good time to present the present.
    At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
    The dove dove into the bushes.
    I did not object to the object.
    The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
    The bandage was wound around the wound.
    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    They were too close to the door to close it.
    The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
    To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
    I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
    I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
    I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt
    The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Thomas Jefferson.

  • #2
    Our Strange Lingo
    When the English tongue we speak.
    Why is break not rhymed with freak?
    Will you tell me why it's true
    We say sew but likewise few?
    And the maker of the verse,
    Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
    Beard is not the same as heard
    Cord is different from word.
    Cow is cow but low is low
    Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
    Think of hose, dose,and lose
    And think of goose and yet with choose
    Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
    Doll and roll or home and some.
    Since pay is rhymed with say
    Why not paid with said I pray?
    Think of blood, food and good.
    Mould is not pronounced like could.
    Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
    Is there any reason known?
    To sum up all, it seems to me
    Sound and letters don't agree.
    The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Thomas Jefferson.

    Comment


    • #3
      So much for phonetics!

      Never worked for me as an English teacher.

      Each word should be treated as a 'sight word' and its uniqueness given its due.


      Philip
      "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell

      Comment


      • #4
        Rules of Riting Good

        Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
        Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
        And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
        Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
        Employ the vernacular.
        Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
        Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
        It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
        Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
        Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
        One should never generalize.
        Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
        Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
        Do not be redundant.
        Do not use more words than necessary. It's highly superfluous.
        Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
        Be more or less specific.
        Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
        One-word sentences? Eliminate.
        No sentence fragments.
        Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
        The passive voice is to be avoided.
        Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
        Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
        Who needs rhetorical questions?
        Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
        Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
        Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
        Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
        Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
        If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times. Resist hyperbole. Not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
        Puns are for children, not groan readers.
        Proofread carefully to see if you left any words out of your
        The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Thomas Jefferson.

        Comment


        • #5
          hukd on foniks werkt fa mee...
          ARRRR! International Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19th
          IN MARE IN COELO

          Comment


          • #6
            'Dove,' isn't a word, the correct English term is, 'Dived.'
            Indyref2 - still, "Yes."

            Comment


            • #7
              This thread makes my head hurt.
              Skip

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by the ace View Post
                'Dove,' isn't a word, the correct English term is, 'Dived.'
                It is according to the Collins online dictionary http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dic...y/english/dove : see 2. a past tense of dive

                Who cares anyway - this is the humour section.
                The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Thomas Jefferson.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Cosmos View Post
                  It is according to the Collins online dictionary http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dic...y/english/dove : see 2. a past tense of dive

                  Who cares anyway - this is the humour section.
                  It's American English. But to be consistent they should have the 3rd. verb form as 'diven'.

                  dive - dove - diven

                  e.g. "I have diven into that stream many times."

                  But there's not a whole lot about English that is consistent, as can be seen in the OP.


                  Philip
                  "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by PhilipLaos View Post
                    It's American English. But to be consistent they should have the 3rd. verb form as 'diven'.

                    dive - dove - diven

                    e.g. "I have diven into that stream many times."

                    But there's not a whole lot about English that is consistent, as can be seen in the OP.


                    Philip
                    Two peoples divided by a common language - Oscar Wilde.
                    Indyref2 - still, "Yes."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      'DIVED' !!!! ...as in dive, dove, dived...or as in another verb...sleep, slept, sloopt
                      plurals--
                      moose - pl mice
                      sheep - pl shoop etc.
                      ARRRR! International Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19th
                      IN MARE IN COELO

                      Comment

                      Latest Topics

                      Collapse

                      Working...
                      X