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The War of the Religions and the Non-Religions!!!!

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  • The War of the Religions and the Non-Religions!!!!

    Ok, after seeing a creationist thread posted and seeing it get a little heated at times, I decided to make a thread of a hypothetical situation. And considering this is a military history forum, I think we should have fun with this.

    My intentions are good, for the progress of military stratagem and theory rather than religious debate. Let's keep this thread militarily focused. But stereotypes are allowed, as long as they feed into your military strategy. I figure we can all let off a little steam here to the benefit of expanding our knowledge of warfare, not debating the right and wrongs of beliefs.!

    Oh, and if this is taking it too far, then just delete the thread, I'll understand why. I just figured we could put all our religious energies or non-religious energies towards discussion of the Art of War.

    Here we go:

    If all the religions, beliefs, and non-religions created armies for their own cause what do you think would be the characteristics of each army and what would be their military strategies.


    I'll go first:

    I think the atheists and I would be outnumbered, so we would have to fight a guerrilla war. But being of stereotype we might be more of the liberal type and be composed of college students. More humanitarian in general. We might be more kind to POW's and probably release them too early so they fight for the enemy again. We might have all the hippy warrior too.

    The Catholics I see being more traditional in nature, all uniformed in dress attire and following into battle behind some sort of Cardinal or the Pope.

    I see the Protestants being wild in nature, very spiritual, loud, and in masses. When I think of this church I think of an African-American church.

    And the Muslims, well to take it easy here. I would think they would run over the land with much vigor and tenacity that it may be difficult to stop their masses. I see them lacking in the technology of the other armies, because of the ME theme. Suicidal attacks may be more frequent, something of a Kamikaze nature here. Which would benefit their war rather than harm it.


    Well that's just a start, what are your ideas and stratagems?
    Last edited by 45Colt; 10 Jun 10, 20:15.

  • #2
    The atheists attempt to compensate for their lack of numbers through the use of superior technology, but all their funds end up going to social welfare programs, gender awareness programs, minority oppression awareness programs and the like. Politically conservative elements among the atheists discover they are vastly outnumbered and are soon send to re-education camps where they learn to be good socialist thinkers. Their military leadership is fractured as no one came agree who is in fact the smartest, and they end up fighting via democratic vote, until they decide they don't believe in war and just surrender. Only small conservative atheist outposts equipped with cyborgs and AI war machines continue to survive.

    The Catholic forces rely principally on a small, highly disciplined force which makes initial gains but run into problems as the majority of their soldiers will only come out to fight on the two big religious holidays. The Catholic Command launches an Inquisition in order to root out the worst of the lazy offenders. This unfortunately ends up destroying the best military commanders who were too busy fighting the war to attend mass.

    The Protestants start out with good numbers but soon fracture into a hundred small groups, each of which considers the others to be heretics. Relations between groups become extremely strained, but the war effort benefits from the protestant work ethic which ensures mass production continues. Unfortunately military units keep swapping personnel, as no one ever seems happy about their current unit.

    The Muslims suddenly find that the Western powers busy, so they finally nuke Israel. Israel retaliates, but the Muslims consider the millions of causalities a fair price, since they all died as Martyrs. With Israel out of the way they go back to killing each other along the traditional sunni/shiite divide.

    [Hopefully no one is too offended by my generalizations ]

    In all seriousness, I believe history has shown us that religion and military strategy do not generally go hand in hand. Catholic/Protestant/Muslim/Atheist soldiers have all proven equally brave, cowardly, intelligent, ignorant etc.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Demon_Llama View Post
      The atheists attempt to compensate for their lack of numbers through the use of superior technology, but all their funds end up going to social welfare programs, gender awareness programs, minority oppression awareness programs and the like. Politically conservative elements among the atheists discover they are vastly outnumbered and are soon send to re-education camps where they learn to be good socialist thinkers. Their military leadership is fractured as no one came agree who is in fact the smartest, and they end up fighting via democratic vote, until they decide they don't believe in war and just surrender. Only small conservative atheist outposts equipped with cyborgs and AI war machines continue to survive.

      The Catholic forces rely principally on a small, highly disciplined force which makes initial gains but run into problems as the majority of their soldiers will only come out to fight on the two big religious holidays. The Catholic Command launches an Inquisition in order to root out the worst of the lazy offenders. This unfortunately ends up destroying the best military commanders who were too busy fighting the war to attend mass.

      The Protestants start out with good numbers but soon fracture into a hundred small groups, each of which considers the others to be heretics. Relations between groups become extremely strained, but the war effort benefits from the protestant work ethic which ensures mass production continues. Unfortunately military units keep swapping personnel, as no one ever seems happy about their current unit.

      The Muslims suddenly find that the Western powers busy, so they finally nuke Israel. Israel retaliates, but the Muslims consider the millions of causalities a fair price, since they all died as Martyrs. With Israel out of the way they go back to killing each other along the traditional sunni/shiite divide.

      [Hopefully no one is too offended by my generalizations ]

      In all seriousness, I believe history has shown us that religion and military strategy do not generally go hand in hand. Catholic/Protestant/Muslim/Atheist soldiers have all proven equally brave, cowardly, intelligent, ignorant etc.
      Nice one.

      But I think the Atheists may benefit from their radical protesting college rabble. Which would be undisciplined of course, and would riot were it pleased not necessarily making any progress during the war.

      The Catholics may take advantage of the elite Swiss Gaurd guarding the Vatican. Them and their funny outfits would be easy targets for the more factious small religious guerrilla groups duking it out in the forests. But the Catholics may just choose fortify themselves in the Vatican, placing all their cards on winning a costly siege against the city. Inflicting heavy losses on any sieging army.

      I see the Jews sticking together here. That would be their key to success during the war. They would rely on elite commandos and superior technology and intelligence. But their limited manpower would be the issue. I think the hordes of Allah would take adavantage of this weakness and attack, attack, attack!

      Though the Muslims would be at ends with themselves, Shia and Sunni, and would be threatened from the East by the masses of Hindus. They're first bet may be to fight to hold them off in the Himalayas or the Hindu Kush fighting a mountain guerrilla operation. But they will need to keep peaceful relations with the Hordes of Chinese to the north. Though this may be easy with the peaceful nature of the Buddhists, who may be hiding up in temples on top of mountains meditating anyway.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by 45Colt View Post
        But I think the Atheists may benefit from their radical protesting college rabble. Which would be undisciplined of course, and would riot were it pleased not necessarily making any progress during the war.
        That crap would come to a screeching halt once they meet the "Inquisition".
        [Official Game Thread] "To the Berezina River" Napoleonic Game

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Double Deuce View Post
          That crap would come to a screeching halt once they meet the "Inquisition".
          No doubt, atheists are too liberal to compete with the inquisition! But I think these college students would be spreading the horrific nature of the Inquisition through the internet and cell phones, gaining support and sympathy for their cause?

          Or, they'll all burn at the stake in the name of heretics. While the Pope is laughing sitting on his fat eating a chicken leg.

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          • #6
            The atheists would all be sitting ducks running around in the open, because of their refusal to dig holes. There are no atheists in foxholes.
            "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
            — Groucho Marx

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Catman View Post
              The atheists would all be sitting ducks running around in the open, because of their refusal to dig holes. There are no atheists in foxholes.
              Cats, I don't understand? What does foxholes have anything to do with not believing in a god.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by 45Colt View Post
                Cats, I don't understand? What does foxholes have anything to do with not believing in a god.
                It's an expression, "There are no Atheists in foxholes". The idea is that anyone having to hide in a foxhole while under fire would hope for a god to save him. Cats was making a joke.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Demon_Llama View Post
                  It's an expression, "There are no Atheists in foxholes". The idea is that anyone having to hide in a foxhole while under fire would hope for a god to save him. Cats was making a joke.
                  I would think its the other way around, if somebody is hoping or knowing a god will save them, why do they need a foxhole? I would think the atheists would need the foxhole, because they don't have a god to save them.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 45Colt View Post
                    I would think its the other way around, if somebody is hoping or knowing a god will save them, why do they need a foxhole? I would think the atheists would need the foxhole, because they don't have a god to save them.
                    That's a different take on the expression. However, last time I checked, no religion has promised divine intervention against hostile fire.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Demon_Llama View Post
                      That's a different take on the expression. However, last time I checked, no religion has promised divine intervention against hostile fire.
                      Being that the word "divine" and "religion" is in your statement, couldn't anything be possible then?

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                      • #12
                        Many athiests were just head to Cuba, bringing some of Russia's & China's nukes with us. Most of China & Cuba are athiest.
                        Once all settled we would then become to busy debating eachother about the war and the Protestants would inavde from the States begining a long guerialla campagin with the Athiests.
                        Catholics will march up from South America heading to Quebec where a gurrilla movement goes on.
                        The fighting will devistate North America and won't end untill some radical Protestants launches nukes at Central & South America ending the Catholic threat.
                        Meanwhile in Europe, Catholics devastated from the loss of the Amercias become demorialised and begin to loose ground in Europe.
                        The Middle East is a hell hole after Israel nuked everything while in Africa the war becomes extremely bloody with both Christians & Muslims commiting astrocities.
                        Then the Hindus surge out of India into the Middle East & South East Asia along with mounting air strikes against Austraila.

                        This all dosn't matter though because in the end, Russia will just say " it" and set off all their nukes.
                        ´
                        “You need to help people. I know it's not very Republican to say but you need to help people.” DONALD TRUMP, 2016

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Jonathanrex1 View Post
                          Many athiests were just head to Cuba, bringing some of Russia's & China's nukes with us. Most of China & Cuba are athiest.
                          Nah, Cuba is mostly Catholic and most of China follows Buddhism/Taoism/Confucianism/folk religions.
                          Surrender? NutZ!
                          -Varro

                          Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death. -Sun Tzu

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                          • #14
                            The atheists will put Walter Ulbricht in charge who Lavrenty Beria referred to as the biggest idiot he'd ever seen. Ulbricht's soldiers will realize what an idiot Ulbricht is, so they'll start to leave in droves. Ulbricht will build a wall to prevent his soldiers from leaving, but will proclaim that his building of the wall is a victory and that his wall prevented the barbarians from attacking his peace loving community.
                            After the wall is built many soldiers will try to still leave through Checkpoint Charlie. Ulbricht will launch an attack of Trabant tanks against Checkpoint Charlie. The Trabant tanks will breakdown before they get to Checkpoint Charlie, but Ulbricht will proclaim that the Trabant tanks defeated the imperiliasts at Checkpoint Charlie. Then Ulbricht will have all the Young Pioneers come sing songs of praise for the great Ulbricht victory!

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                            • #15
                              The reigious fanatics of all bents let loose the nucs and it's a done deal. end game and the bugs get the planet. Unless of course divine intervention occurs and the Christain GOD really does exsist and he then supports with log-commo-and reinforcements, in the form of angels with firey swords.

                              In the former your all fuced, in the later every body but the obvious.

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