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Armchair Attacks: Urgent Dispatch From General Stratego!

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  • Armchair Attacks: Urgent Dispatch From General Stratego!

    Originally posted by General Stratego
    CLAUSEWITZ' LOST BOOK FOUND IN COFFIN


    BERLIN - In February 2010, while bulldozing an old cemetery on the outskirts of Berlin to make room for an apartment complex, municipal workers uncovered an old book in one of the coffins.

    The casket belonged to a certain Johan von Clausewitz (1742-1803), a Prussian officer in Frederick the Great’s Army – an uncle of the famous Carl. Next to the remains was found a leather-bound book containing about hundred pages. “Fehler des Kriegs” or “ Military Failures”, was first published in 1797 and seems not to have enjoyed a great success. It’s extreme scarcity is primarily due to the extraordinarily low number published: 100 copies in 1797 and only 50 in 1798. Although a section of this book has been recovered at the turn of the last century, it was incomplete. It’s importance for historians lies in the fact that this is now a complete copy and that it is the counterpole of his nephew’s “On War”.
    Historians of the Berlin University are now searching what influence Johan’s failed work had on his nephew Carl’s highly successful military treatise decades later!


    15 rules of the thumb to ensure a Military Blunder by Johan von Clausewitz:

    1. Gather a large number of troops, no matter what their quality, the more the merrier

    2. Assign to them some uninspirational, uncapable but politically important leaders

    3. Never mind the latest weather reports, they are usually wrong anyway

    4. Don’t inspire the men, you are leading, that’s enough

    5. Don’t provide them with adequate clothing

    6. Don’t provide them with adequate supplies, it costs a lot of money and will only slow you down

    7. Forget the map of the country you will be crossing through, just go straight forward

    8. Don’t bother about the bickering commanders, you have enough on your mind as it is

    9. Expect unconditional loyalty from your allies, you are the good guy

    10. Disregard advise from locals or defectors, how can they possibly be smarter than you.

    11. Don’t be led astray from your original plan by intelligence reports or advice – it will only make things difficult and confusing

    12. Don't worry about initial deployments, the troops will be moving about anyways

    13. Make your plans so incredibly complex that effective coordination is impossible. Your enemy would not be able to coordinate his forces any better than you can

    14. Rest assure that the Gods of War will turn the tide in your favor if things turn sour

    15. If you lose the battle, find the scapegoats and have them massacred. It’s not your fault that the battle has been lost, it’s theirs !!!

    Dear members of ACG !

    Here’s the campaign you’ve all been waiting for for the last 10 months:

    ACG’s Greatest Military Blunders.

    Get to it, choose wisely and don’t blunder !!!!




    Stratego
    Campaign Officer - Commanding
    On the Plains of Hesitation lie the blackened bones of countless millions who, at the dawn of victory, sat down to rest-and resting... died. Adlai E. Stevenson

    ACG History Today

    BoRG

  • #2
    That is awesome. It's sad that they had to be disturbed, but historical finds can be found in the most interesting places. Even if they are final resting places.
    "With great authority comes great responsibility."

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by milhistorian View Post
      That is awesome. It's sad that they had to be disturbed, but historical finds can be found in the most interesting places. Even if they are final resting places.
      ..i agree, its a fantastic find isnt it..???

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by milhistorian View Post
        That is awesome. It's sad that they had to be disturbed, but historical finds can be found in the most interesting places. Even if they are final resting places.
        Euhhh gents...
        The article isn't true . I invented it solely as intro for the tournament and in order to practice my journalism.
        I guess I'm doing well.



        Greets,
        Stratego
        Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.- Napoleon

        It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.- Herman Melville

        Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

        BORG

        Comment


        • #5
          Good work, Jason!

          If you need any assistance in writing up posts for this campaign, let me know.

          As always, your devoted servant
          Skoblinus

          Comment


          • #6
            Heh. I detect another blunder - give 'em a medal.
            Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the cheesemakers

            That's right bitches. I'm blessed!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by skoblin View Post
              Good work, Jason!

              If you need any assistance in writing up posts for this campaign, let me know.

              As always, your devoted servant
              Skoblinus
              Oh oh...


              Nono !
              I have no time for a new campaign.
              This was the intro for the "BLUNDER Campaign".

              Now I'm in trouble...



              Hurry Strat RUN AWAY !!!!
              Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.- Napoleon

              It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.- Herman Melville

              Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

              BORG

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Stratego View Post
                Oh oh...


                Nono !
                I have no time for a new campaign.
                This was the intro for the "BLUNDER Campaign".

                Now I'm in trouble...



                Hurry Strat RUN AWAY !!!!

                Comment

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