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Your Captain May Be A Redneck If...

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  • Your Captain May Be A Redneck If...

    . . . he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

    . . . he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

    . . . he sets phaser to "Cajun"

    . . . he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

    . . . he refers to Klingons as "Critters"

    . . . he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"

    . . . he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and
    aluminum foil

    . . . he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

    . . . he paints the starship John Deere green
    Minister Of Propaganda For Sinister Inc.

    "Look! The enemy is inviting us to defeat them! We must oblige them!"

  • #2
    And he lives in a Shuttle-park?

    Dr. S.
    Imagine a ball of iron, the size of the sun. And once a year a tiny sparrow brushes its surface with the tip of its wing. And when that ball of iron, the size of the sun, is worn away to nothing, your punishment will barely have begun.

    www.sinisterincorporated.co.uk

    www.tabletown.co.uk

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Your Captain May Be A Redneck If...

      Originally posted by Stage
      . . . he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

      . . . he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

      . . . he sets phaser to "Cajun"

      . . . he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

      . . . he refers to Klingons as "Critters"

      . . . he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"

      . . . he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and
      aluminum foil

      . . . he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

      . . . he paints the starship John Deere green
      You left out uses Duct Tape for all structural repairs.


      Cheers!


      :armed:
      Eagles may fly; but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!

      "I'm not expendable; I'm not stupid and I'm not going." - Kerr Avon, Blake's 7

      What didn't kill us; didn't make us smarter.

      Comment


      • #4
        ... he uses the transporter to get his beer buddies to and from their homes.
        The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. -Carl Jung

        Hell is other people. -Jean-Paul Sarte

        Comment


        • #5
          All these are hilarious!
          "Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for"
          "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching"

          Comment


          • #6
            Here's another one:

            .....He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
            "Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for"
            "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching"

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Doctor Sinister
              And he lives in a Shuttle-park?

              Dr. S.
              Retreat hell, we just got here. Every Marine, a rifleman.

              Never let the facts get in the way of the truth.

              Comment


              • #8
                He has a non-operational washing machine on the transporter deck.

                JS
                Barcsi János ispán vezérőrnagy
                Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2003 & 2006


                "Never pet a burning dog."

                RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:
                http://www.mormon.org
                http://www.sca.org
                http://www.scv.org/
                http://www.scouting.org/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Janos
                  He has a non-operational washing machine on the transporter deck.

                  JS
                  And the Stardock is full of old, wet mattresses and a burned-out maintenance pod.

                  Dr. S.
                  Imagine a ball of iron, the size of the sun. And once a year a tiny sparrow brushes its surface with the tip of its wing. And when that ball of iron, the size of the sun, is worn away to nothing, your punishment will barely have begun.

                  www.sinisterincorporated.co.uk

                  www.tabletown.co.uk

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ...if he brings his hunting rifle on away missions to heavily forested planets.
                    "You realize that if I could actually purchase a weapon, I would stab you with it now?" --Roy, Order of the Stick #136

                    Governor of South Florida, Cuba, Louisiana, Manhattan, Hawaii, Illinois, Moon and Mars. Chief of Cybernetics Div., S.INC

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      He has a pet Denebian Slime-Devil named "Killer" with a studded collar that constantly drools and follows him around the ship.

                      Dr. S.
                      Imagine a ball of iron, the size of the sun. And once a year a tiny sparrow brushes its surface with the tip of its wing. And when that ball of iron, the size of the sun, is worn away to nothing, your punishment will barely have begun.

                      www.sinisterincorporated.co.uk

                      www.tabletown.co.uk

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ...he thinks that aquatic alien he is talking to would taste good fried with a mess o'greens.
                        "You realize that if I could actually purchase a weapon, I would stab you with it now?" --Roy, Order of the Stick #136

                        Governor of South Florida, Cuba, Louisiana, Manhattan, Hawaii, Illinois, Moon and Mars. Chief of Cybernetics Div., S.INC

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          .. he teaches the Klingons the pull my finger game?


                          He puts a deer stand on the Death Star?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by *********
                            .. he teaches the Klingons the pull my finger game?



                            JS
                            Barcsi János ispán vezérőrnagy
                            Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2003 & 2006


                            "Never pet a burning dog."

                            RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:
                            http://www.mormon.org
                            http://www.sca.org
                            http://www.scv.org/
                            http://www.scouting.org/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ....the shuttle pod has been up on blocks in his front yard for months
                              "Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for"
                              "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching"

                              Comment

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