Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

And Lastly, the Canadians!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • And Lastly, the Canadians!

    The following three threads are going to have some fun at the expense of the French, the US, and then the Canadians. All are intended in the spirit of good humor, so keep it in perspective!

    The Canadians!

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH
    COLUMBIA
    1. Weed
    2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
    3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
    4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar.
    5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from
    downtown.
    6. A university with a nude beach.
    7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks
    locations.
    8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your
    hash.
    9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest
    going on.
    10. Cannabis.

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
    1. Big Rock beer
    2. Preston Manning
    3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 per
    cent
    4. The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a
    grade 4 education
    5. Flames vs. Oilers
    6. Stamps vs. Eskies
    7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can
    think of
    8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
    9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government
    militia groups
    10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon
    husband and get away with it

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN
    SASKATCHEWAN
    1. You never run out of wheat
    2. Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
    3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
    4. Your province is really easy to draw
    5. You never have to worry about rollback if you have a
    standard
    6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's
    house
    7. YOUR Roughriders survived
    8. You can watch the dog run away from home for
    hours
    9. People will assume you live on a farm
    10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
    1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have
    beachfront property
    2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
    3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto

    4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the
    federal government
    5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
    6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
    7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
    8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending
    on your mood
    9. Because of your licence plate, you are still "friendly"
    even when you cut someone off
    10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
    1. You live in the centre of the universe
    2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
    3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal
    election
    4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist
    5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during
    Prohibition
    6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they
    mistakenly believe it's a cool city
    7. The only province with hard-core American-style
    crime
    8. MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on
    national TV for a dollar
    9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the
    side of your house
    10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
    1. Everybody assumes you're an *******
    2. Racism is socially acceptable
    3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
    4. You can take bets with your friends on which English
    neighbour will move out next
    5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada

    6. The FLQ
    7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French
    guys
    8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
    9. NON-smokers are the outcasts
    10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo
    bastards"

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW
    BRUNSWICK
    1. You are sandwiched between French *******s and
    drunken Celtic fiddlers
    2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent
    of your income
    3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
    4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to
    mention yours
    5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying
    Ontario motorists to Boston
    6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
    7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill
    you
    8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
    9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more
    unemployed fishermen
    10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no
    television

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
    1. The only place in North America to get bombed in
    the war ... by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire
    2. Your province is shaped like male genitalia
    3. Everyone is a fiddle player
    4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed
    to kick their ass
    5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual
    pervert
    6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the
    world's largest land mammal
    7. You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
    8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an
    excuse to wear a kilt
    9. The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle
    music
    10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax
    is considered Canada's most beautiful city

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE
    EDWARD ISLAND
    1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island,
    you still got the big-ass bridge
    2. You can walk across the province in half an hour
    3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to
    Avonlea"
    4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
    5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC
    TV shows
    6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables"
    house, then promptly leave
    7. You can drive across the province in two minutes
    8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
    9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with
    anyone for that matter
    10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights
    on and off at night

    TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN
    NEWFOUNDLAND
    1. The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation
    2. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea
    3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock,
    you can make them kiss a dead cod
    4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and
    fish-related products
    5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse

    6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics

    7. The workday is about two hours long
    8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the
    solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for
    submarines
    9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are
    allowed to kick their ass
    10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on
    your wedding day.
    "When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home."

    Winston Churchill

  • #2
    Surprised there was 10 good things to say about Quebec and Newfoundland.
    http://canadiangenealogyandresearch.ca

    Soviet and Canadian medal collector!

    Comment


    • #3


      ROFLMAO
      Scientists have announced they've discovered a cure for apathy. However no one has shown the slightest bit of interest !!

      Comment


      • #4
        Some were harder to complete than others...
        "When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home."

        Winston Churchill

        Comment


        • #5
          Those posts brought me some great insight into Canadian culture. Thank you, Shane!
          "Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for"
          "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching"

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by GeorgiaDixie
            Those posts brought me some great insight into Canadian culture. Thank you, Shane!
            Aren't we a cultured people??
            http://canadiangenealogyandresearch.ca

            Soviet and Canadian medal collector!

            Comment


            • #7
              Hooray for the Americans with a Queen!

              We'll leave the light on for you.

              JS
              Barcsi János ispán vezérőrnagy
              Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2003 & 2006


              "Never pet a burning dog."

              RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:
              http://www.mormon.org
              http://www.sca.org
              http://www.scv.org/
              http://www.scouting.org/

              Comment


              • #8
                That's great stuff!!! LONG LIVE CANADA!! LONG LIVE ONTARIO!!
                There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. -Henry Kissinger

                Comment


                • #9
                  What? No good cheeseburgers anywhere? I'm not visiting!
                  If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hey Shane! You missed one for Ontario, voting the federal liberals in all the time.
                    Better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speakup and remove all doubt.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by HOOP102
                      Hey Shane! You missed one for Ontario, voting the federal liberals in all the time.
                      Hopefully that won't need to be included when the list gets redone next month!
                      What God abandoned, these defended,
                      And saved the sum of things for pay.

                      A.E. Housman
                      [ 1859-1936 ]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DANJANOU
                        Hopefully that won't need to be included when the list gets redone next month!
                        Hopefully not!
                        http://canadiangenealogyandresearch.ca

                        Soviet and Canadian medal collector!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by GeorgiaDixie
                          Those posts brought me some great insight into Canadian culture. Thank you, Shane!
                          My pleasure, eh!
                          "When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home."

                          Winston Churchill

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If I might do a list for Texas?

                            1. Strip club capital of the world.
                            2. Chemical plant capital of the world
                            3. Walk from sunrise to sunset and still be in Houston
                            4. Only state in the Union to be allowed to leave if we want to and split into five states.
                            5. The Alamo
                            6. Galveston
                            7. Tex-Mex food
                            8. More illegals poor through here than in any other part of the U.S.
                            9. Galveston beaches
                            10. Texas Women :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
                            Govenour Of Texas and all southern provinces. Kepper Of The Holy Woodchipper.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jeremy Scott
                              If I might do a list for Texas?

                              1. Strip club capital of the world.
                              2. Chemical plant capital of the world
                              3. Walk from sunrise to sunset and still be in Houston
                              4. Only state in the Union to be allowed to leave if we want to and split into five states.
                              5. The Alamo
                              6. Galveston
                              7. Tex-Mex food
                              8. More illegals poor through here than in any other part of the U.S.
                              9. Galveston beaches
                              10. Texas Women :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
                              Number 1 and number 10 make me want to go and visit Houston.
                              http://canadiangenealogyandresearch.ca

                              Soviet and Canadian medal collector!

                              Comment

                              Latest Topics

                              Collapse

                              Working...
                              X