You might be a millennial...

[Jose50]

If you have a Hyundai with a 1.2L engine that you've made sound like a muscle car
because you paid a guy to put a "dual exhaust" on it...
you might be a millennial.



who's got the next one?

[Mountain Man]

...if you live off the grid and own an electric car.

...if you graduated from college but need help reading your degree.

...if you are thirty years old and still live with your parents.

...if you list video games as a skill set on your resume.

[E.D. Morel]

... if fake tan counts as Black Face.
I keep telling my daughter it does; "You are so concerned with equality and LGBT rights and all that, I can't believe you are using blackface when you are going out." ) Since we are Irish we need about 10 days of sunshine to turn white from our natural translucent blue colour.)

[Mountain Man]

...if you have ever protested something you didn't even understand...

...if you're not sure your "girlfriend" is actually your "girl" friend...

...if your favorite sound is a loud, whining noise...

[jeffdoorgunnr]

if you believe that there are absolutely no jobs that should involve being outdoors...….

[Mountain Man]

if you believe that there are absolutely no jobs that should involve being outdoors...….

...if you use your cellphone to check on your welfare deposit.

[Trung Si]

if you believe that there are absolutely no jobs that should involve being outdoors...….

[marktwain]

If you think that its odd that your parents wear something on their wrist with spinnies that they claim tells them what time it is...

[johns624]

if you believe that there are absolutely no jobs that should involve being outdoors...….

My 31yo nephew went to school to get his bachelors (it took 10 years, off and on) and kept talking about wanting to be a forester or something. He got a job for and environmental cleanup job doing core samples and the like. All he did was complain about how cold it is in Michigan in the winter. I told him to buy some Carhartts and shut up. He lasted a year...

[Mountain Man]

...if you constantly complain about all of your free benefits.

...if you went to college for four years so you could figure out what to do with yourself, and still can't figure out what to do with yourself.

[Jose50]

Those are great...keep them coming.

If you've needed a fake i.d. to get a tattoo with a granola quote...

[E.D. Morel]

If you are 30 but your mother still does your washing and she can't figure out which clothes are yours and which are your sisters.

[Mountain Man]

If you take Uber to your job as a Lyft driver...

[E.D. Morel]

You go on Twitter to send your "thoughts and prayers" whenever there's a disaster or mass killing.
Nobody affected gives a s%&t about your thoughts and prayers, all you are doing is waving your arms and saying "yea, but look at me, I'm still here!".

If you find that offensive you're a millennial too.

Outrage culture; if you get offended by things that weren't said to you and didn't cause offense to the person who they were said to, then you're a millennial.

Fat Shaming; if that's a thing for you then you are a millennial. If you're fat then you are fat, accept that. It's hard not to be fat, you have to exercise and eat well, not drink so much etc. Being fat is easy; you just lay on the couch and eat crap. Don't get all offended when someone points that out.
It's not fat shaming, it's just not allowing unhealthy to be normalised.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't had abs since I was 18 and masterbated twice a day but when someone tells me I could lose a few pounds I agree with them, I don't get all outraged.
My daughter gets all upset if we are driving somewhere and we pass a person who is so fat they could quite conceivably have stuff in orbit around them and I say "Jesus Christ, look at the f-ing size of that fat f**k!". I point out that if we passed someone who was 7 feet tall I'd say something similar. I'm just describing the person I see, it's a descriptive noun, that's all.
She's too young to be a millennial, she's the generation the millennials will give out about.

If you think single millennials are bad, they are worse when they have kids. I hate listening to people talk about their kids. Especially if the kids are nice and doing well. If I wanted to be exposed to that sort of crap I'd still use Facebook. Just imagine how bad millennials are with their little darlings. Every sniffle is ebola. My youngest daughter "graduated" from her school when she was 6. What sort of crap is that? She just turned up each day, she didn't get a degree in "colouring in". The celebration of mediocrity was brought to a whole different level when the millennials started squirting out their little brats. Thank God fertility rates have dropped.

[Herman Hum]

Anyone needing a 'safe space'.