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  • I need some advice too.

    Soooo- It seems you guys are the closest friends I have when it comes to getting some confidential advice. (Scary, huh?)

    First some history- If any of you recall (or care) my family was living up in NY. Both my wife and I were working for Kraft Foods. My wife is a true high-speed low-drag business person. She gets paid a LOT more $$ than I do. Around mid-year last year, she got unhappy with her job, sought other employment, and BOOM, by January 2007, we found ourselves relocated in Atlanta. I spent 3 months finding a job, and had to give up volunteer firefighting (which I love) and had to transfer National Guard units.

    So NOW, she has determined that the job move was a big mistake, and has gotten more-or-less of a committment that she/we could return to Kraft. Which would entail relocating BACK to NY.

    Here's the twist- I would naturally have to transferto my Guard unit back in NY. My old unit is slated to deploy to Afghanistan in January 2008. Depending on our timing in relocating, I could return to the 1/69th and head off to scenic Jockstrapistan. You can imagine my wife's reaction to that....but I would feel somewhat honor-bound to go with them, and like a complete loser if I don't.

    I don't believe I'm afraid of deploying, (total disclosure- I'm probably more afraid of the little woman!) heck I've been training for it the last 3 years or so...but I also know my wife does not share my feelings about military service one bit..... so where do my ultimate loyalties lie? Serious gut-check time and I'm having difficulty getting my head around it.

    What do you all think???

  • #2
    Tough question. However because you have a special needs little one than I'd say stay with the family. Transfer to the NY NG unit. If they get called up than you have to go, but now the 1/69th should be 2nd priority. Good luck JT! EDIT: But make sure you have a definite commitment before moving back. 2nd Edit: Just reread the NY NG unit is the one being called up. Why I didn't recognize the 1/69th as a GANG unit. That's rough buddy. Sorry for the confusion. Best advice: Can you transfer to another NY NG unit BESIDES the 1/69th?
    Last edited by RichardS; 28 Sep 07, 13:05.
    Eagles may fly; but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!

    "I'm not expendable; I'm not stupid and I'm not going." - Kerr Avon, Blake's 7

    What didn't kill us; didn't make us smarter.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by RichardS View Post
      Best advice: Can you transfer to another NY NG unit BESIDES the 1/69th?
      Thanks- yes that would most likely be possible. Don't know what or where. And that is probably the most prudent course. But right now I'm feeling like it would be completely nutless of me to do that......
      Maybe my priorities are NOT right. That's what has me confused, other than the genral whiplash effect of the whole scenario. Here, I was on a plan to be deployed late 2009 or 2010 with the 48th BCT GAARNG, working up the financial solves for all that and so on.

      Well, at any rate, the one thing I DO know is that I wholly support her in her decision to change (just as I did the first time), I know she has been going through a really rough patch here, and my job is not anything to write home about, either.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by jthomas View Post
        Thanks- yes that would most likely be possible. Don't know what or where. And that is probably the most prudent course. But right now I'm feeling like it would be completely nutless of me to do that......
        Maybe my priorities are NOT right. That's what has me confused, other than the genral whiplash effect of the whole scenario. Here, I was on a plan to be deployed late 2009 or 2010 with the 48th BCT GAARNG, working up the financial solves for all that and so on.

        Well, at any rate, the one thing I DO know is that I wholly support her in her decision to change (just as I did the first time), I know she has been going through a really rough patch here, and my job is not anything to write home about, either.
        Sorry it didn't work out here. Again, because you have a special needs daughter I think that should take priority. Go to another unit. I'm sure your friends in the 1/69th will understand. Perhaps if you get everything in order you can join them later in the deployment. Right now I can't see you moving then running off to the middle east. That wouldn't be fair to your family.
        Eagles may fly; but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!

        "I'm not expendable; I'm not stupid and I'm not going." - Kerr Avon, Blake's 7

        What didn't kill us; didn't make us smarter.

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        • #5
          Go with your family! The military will forget you exist after your gone, your family will always be there.
          If you can't set a good example, be a glaring warning.

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          • #6
            My advise would be to stay with your family. Don't take the chance of making your wife a widow and your children fatherless. Don't buy into that macho BS.

            And that is all I have to say about that.

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            • #7
              You should do what you feel is best for the family. Anyone who swallows his pride for the good of the family has plenty of nuts in my book.
              Flag: USA / Location: West Coast

              Prayers.

              BoRG

              http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8757/snap1ws8.jpg

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PtsX_Z3CMU

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              • #8
                "nutless"

                You are a citizen soldier and a volunteer firefighter.
                I think you've earned the right to at least a little slack here.
                Your daughter is what it's all about after all.
                Any metaphor will tear if stretched over too much reality.

                Questions about our site? See the FAQ.

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                • #9
                  jt. A really tough situation. If you know the posters, the majority of the one's that have responded are older, and most have "seen the elephant".

                  We "geezers" have a different perspective on life, and family becomes everything to us. We understand that combat is totally underrated as a macho experience. Yet, we understand the bond that forms between men under training with an expectation of deployment.
                  You are in a predicament that has no correct answer. Follow your feelings of devotion to the men, and you might harm the family. Accept the commitment you feel towards your loved ones, and the rest of your life you will ask yourself questions.

                  Obviously, we don't know all the nuances of your decision. There may be another option, we're not privy too. I think most of the posters here will agree that you need to measure everything, make the decision, and bury the other options forever. This is the kind of decision that can eat a man for a very long time.

                  The question is, what can I live with?

                  Because that is ultimately what you will have to do.
                  The best of luck my man. You cannot make a poor decision here. I wish you peace of heart in whatever option you choose.
                  My Avatar: Ivan W. Henderson Gunner/navigator B-25-26. 117 combat missions. Both Theaters. 11 confirmed kills. DSC.

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                  • #10
                    Look to your heart, JT...

                    The answers are there, my friend!
                    On the Plains of Hesitation lie the blackened bones of countless millions who, at the dawn of victory, sat down to rest-and resting... died. Adlai E. Stevenson

                    ACG History Today

                    BoRG

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Admiral View Post
                      Look to your heart, JT...

                      The answers are there, my friend!
                      JT, you're not going to get a better answer than this.


                      Best of luck to you.
                      ACG QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
                      ¿Cualquier persona fija en el nude? Slug

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by cyberia View Post
                        JT, you're not going to get a better answer than this.


                        Best of luck to you.
                        Exactly! Go with what the Admiral said! God's blessings be unto you and to your fine family!
                        "Profanity is but a linguistic crutch for illiterate motherbleepers"

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                        • #13
                          Admiral has given the definitive answer.
                          War. Young men killing each other for the benefit of old men!

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