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Republican National Convention Schedule

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  • Republican National Convention Schedule

    Republican National Convention Schedule, New York, NY

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
    8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
    10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
    10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
    11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
    11:35 PM Blame Clinton
    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
    11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
    12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

    "Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a ugly brawl."
    --Frederick II, King of Prussia

  • #2
    roflmao!
    I have no problem at all with being proved wrong. Especially when being proved wrong leaves the world a better place, than being proved right...

    Comment


    • #3
      what about the afternoon
      12h00-18h00 sleeping?
      looking forward to the new version of toaw

      Comment


      • #4
        Where's Happy Hour?
        Black & blue from the TOAW learning curve!

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        • #5

          9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
          I suspected that!
          "You can't change the rules in the middle of the game."
          "Hey, you just made that rule up."


          Heil Dicke Bertha!

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          • #6
            You forgot....12:05 AM Ship MonsterZero back to Poland.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Priest
              You forgot....12:05 AM Ship MonsterZero back to Poland.
              I'm an American by (enthusiastic) choice, Polish by birth; I wish I was American by birth (my life would have been a lot easier).

              Just don't use UPS because I used to load trailers for those brutes and they kick and stomp on parcels that won't fit into the desired spot.
              Last edited by MonsterZero; 30 Jul 04, 13:39.

              "Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a ugly brawl."
              --Frederick II, King of Prussia

              Comment


              • #8
                While we're at it, don't use DHL either - they suck big time.

                They've recently taken over Danzas ASG here, and they have introduced a very annoying trait among their telephone order receivers; now they great you with a lengthy " Hi this is Lisa, thanks for calling, how can I help you" instead of the old "ASG, Lisa here ..." . And they can't help you because their comapny is worthless. What's next, them signing off the call with "have a great day" or something else totally useless after annoying you for too long still being unable to locate that shipment they've delivered to the wrong address or not delivered at all while still not bothered to find the proper addressee? Skip the crap and do your work!
                "You can't change the rules in the middle of the game."
                "Hey, you just made that rule up."


                Heil Dicke Bertha!

                Comment


                • #9
                  "Bob Dole will now read from the Necronomicon."
                  Even Jesus will never forgive what you do - Bob Dylan

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    FedEx is Best

                    This thread sure took a strange twist!

                    I worked for FedEx for a couple of years before going back to college and my son is still a Ramp Agent at the Indy Hub. It is a really great company, the employees are treated well, and the freight doesn't get abused (well... except for hydraulic rams knocking them down sorting slides).

                    Seriously... best company I ever worked for and there is nothing like standing out on the runway as 75 planes fire up and taxi for a 3:30 am takeoff! Gives you the experience of being at a B-52 base launching a strike! One plane every 30 seconds... awesome!

                    And a totally Awesome Convention Schedule
                    Love & Peace,

                    Far Dareis Mai

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MonsterZero
                      6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

                      Only one error, in fact at 6:36 the 2nd admendment will be chemically neutered for 'homeland secuirty' measures....
                      "Have you forgotten the face of your father?"

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                      • #12
                        ROFL, thought6 it would be something like that...
                        "A platoon of Chinese tanks viciously attacked a Soviet harvester,
                        which was peacefully working a field near the Soviet-Chinese border.
                        The harvester returned fire and upon destroying the enemy
                        returned to its home base."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MonsterZero
                          10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
                          It's a shame you feel that republicans are against Blacks as they were the ones who freed the slaves and did NOT vote against the 1967 Civil Liberties act. (*cough* democrats *cough*)
                          Kampfgruppe - A Fusion Wargaming Clan


                          Kampfgruppe -Combat Mission OKH

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