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A small an nice one, IMHO

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  • A small an nice one, IMHO

    Little David was in his 5th grade class in a school in Washington when the
    teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the
    typical answers came up -- Fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...

    David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him
    about his father.

    "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his
    clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good,
    he'll make love for money."

    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
    children to work on some class work, and took Little David aside to ask
    him, "Is that really true about your father?"

    "No," said David, "He works for the Bush administration, but I was too
    embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."


    Der WanderIlikeThisOne
    The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
    JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
    The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

  • #2
    Excellent!

    Comment


    • #3
      rolfmao!
      I have no problem at all with being proved wrong. Especially when being proved wrong leaves the world a better place, than being proved right...

      Comment


      • #4
        A guy goes into an antique store out in San Fransisco. He peruses the wares for a while, and finally finds this strange bronze rat. The rat looks pretty interesting, so he takes it to the clerk and asks "how much for the bronze rat?"
        "Well, the rat costs $1, but the story behind it costs $100."
        Well, it was a strange arrangement, but the guy figured he could do without the story and offers to buy the rat.
        "Are you sure you don't want to buy the story? It might be helpful to know."
        "That's okay. Dad didn't raise a fool."
        So, he hands the clerk a dollar and leaves.

        Well, out of the streets, the guy is walking along, holding the bronze rat, when he hears a scampering behind him. He looks, and he sees a rat from the alley following him. He walks along some more, and about three more rats start following him. The guy is getting nervous, so he starts running faster. More rats start following him, scampering to keep up. The guy is running now to get away from these rats, and hundreds, thousands of these things are following him.

        So, the guy runs to the pier, and running out on the docks he accidentally drops the bronze rat into the bay. The rats all dive into the water after the rat. Wave after wave of rats dive into the bay after this bronze rat. Every rat in the whole of San Fransisco dives into the bay and drowns trying to get the bronze rat.

        So, the guy heads back to the antique store and explains what happened to the clerk. The clerk laughs and says "So, do you wanna buy that story now?"
        "No, actually I wanted to see if you had a bronze Republican back there. . ."
        "Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government’s purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding."

        – Associate Justice Louis D. Brandeis, Olmstead vs. United States.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by jlbetin
          Little David was in his 5th grade class in a school in Washington when the
          teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the
          typical answers came up -- Fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...

          David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him
          about his father.

          "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his
          clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good,
          he'll make love for money."

          The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
          children to work on some class work, and took Little David aside to ask
          him, "Is that really true about your father?"

          "No," said David, "Well, my father works for Senator John Kerry's presidential campaign, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
          Well, here is the real joke, I think all conservatives will enjoy this...

          Dan
          Major James Holden, Georgia Badgers Militia of Rainbow Regiment, American Civil War

          "Aim small, miss small."

          Comment


          • #6
            Yeah, that's the way I heard it too, Dan!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by MikeJ
              A guy goes into an antique store out in San Fransisco. He peruses the wares for a while, and finally finds this strange bronze rat. The rat looks pretty interesting, so he takes it to the clerk and asks "how much for the bronze rat?"
              "Well, the rat costs $1, but the story behind it costs $100."
              Well, it was a strange arrangement, but the guy figured he could do without the story and offers to buy the rat.
              "Are you sure you don't want to buy the story? It might be helpful to know."
              "That's okay. Dad didn't raise a fool."
              So, he hands the clerk a dollar and leaves.

              Well, out of the streets, the guy is walking along, holding the bronze rat, when he hears a scampering behind him. He looks, and he sees a rat from the alley following him. He walks along some more, and about three more rats start following him. The guy is getting nervous, so he starts running faster. More rats start following him, scampering to keep up. The guy is running now to get away from these rats, and hundreds, thousands of these things are following him.

              So, the guy runs to the pier, and running out on the docks he accidentally drops the bronze rat into the bay. The rats all dive into the water after the rat. Wave after wave of rats dive into the bay after this bronze rat. Every rat in the whole of San Fransisco dives into the bay and drowns trying to get the bronze rat.

              So, the guy heads back to the antique store and explains what happened to the clerk. The clerk laughs and says "So, do you wanna buy that story now?"
              "No, actually I wanted to see if you had a bronze Republican back there. . ."
              LOL, this one is even better than Jean-Luc's.
              I will bear it in mind an tell my friends, MikeJ...
              "A platoon of Chinese tanks viciously attacked a Soviet harvester,
              which was peacefully working a field near the Soviet-Chinese border.
              The harvester returned fire and upon destroying the enemy
              returned to its home base."

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by CPangracs
                Yeah, that's the way I heard it too, Dan!
                Curt, Dan

                I could put it here the same in a French way
                Petit Pierre
                Little Pierre was in CP ( French 5th Grade) class in a school in Neuilly ( richest suburb of Paris) when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- Doctor, businessman, CEO, High Civil servant, etc...

                David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him
                about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret at Pigalle and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll make love for money."

                The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some class work, and took Little David aside to ask
                him, "Is that really true about your father?"

                "No," said David, "Well, my father works with Jacques Chirac at The Elyséé Palace, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
                The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
                JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
                The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by jlbetin
                  Curt, Dan

                  I could put it here the same in a French way
                  Petit Pierre
                  Little Pierre was in CP ( French 5th Grade) class in a school in Neuilly ( richest suburb of Paris) when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- Doctor, businessman, CEO, High Civil servant, etc...

                  David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him
                  about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret at Pigalle and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll make love for money."

                  The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some class work, and took Little David aside to ask
                  him, "Is that really true about your father?"

                  "No," said David, "Well, my father works with Jacques Chirac at The Elyséé Palace, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
                  We like this one better.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Iraqi Sues Over Blurred Genitals
                    Tarik Al-Malenk's "small blur"

                    BAGHDAD (Rooters) -- A former Iraqi detainee has filed suit against the US, claiming that news photos of abuse show him with a "small blur" over his genitals. The defendant, Tarik Al-Malenk, says other detainees were given "much bigger blurs," though their genitalia were actually no bigger than his.

                    "One of them was being tortured right in front of me while they had me hanging from the ceiling," complained Al-Malenk, "and I could see his genitalia were at least a centimeter smaller than mine, yet he was given a generous blur, while mine was stingy."

                    As a result, Al-Malenk claims, he has been "humiliated and ridiculed" by the Arab Street. "Every time I go down the Arab Street, it makes fun of me," he asserts.

                    Al-Malenk is demanding $25 million from US Occupation authorities.

                    Coalition Spokesman Gen. Mark Kimmit dismissed the suit as "minor dissonance, like Fallujah or Najaf," reminding journalists that "you have to remember how many genital blurs we got right, rather than the one little one we might have got wrong."

                    Kimmit promised that the case would be resolved soon: "I want to emphasise that the Coalition takes issues of sexual humiliation very, very seriously--much more seriously than, for example, dead civilians," he insisted.
                    "Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government’s purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding."

                    – Associate Justice Louis D. Brandeis, Olmstead vs. United States.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MikeJ
                      Iraqi Sues Over Blurred Genitals
                      Tarik Al-Malenk's "small blur"

                      BAGHDAD (Rooters) -- A former Iraqi detainee has filed suit against the US, claiming that news photos of abuse show him with a "small blur" over his genitals. The defendant, Tarik Al-Malenk, says other detainees were given "much bigger blurs," though their genitalia were actually no bigger than his.

                      "One of them was being tortured right in front of me while they had me hanging from the ceiling," complained Al-Malenk, "and I could see his genitalia were at least a centimeter smaller than mine, yet he was given a generous blur, while mine was stingy."

                      As a result, Al-Malenk claims, he has been "humiliated and ridiculed" by the Arab Street. "Every time I go down the Arab Street, it makes fun of me," he asserts.

                      Al-Malenk is demanding $25 million from US Occupation authorities.

                      Coalition Spokesman Gen. Mark Kimmit dismissed the suit as "minor dissonance, like Fallujah or Najaf," reminding journalists that "you have to remember how many genital blurs we got right, rather than the one little one we might have got wrong."

                      Kimmit promised that the case would be resolved soon: "I want to emphasise that the Coalition takes issues of sexual humiliation very, very seriously--much more seriously than, for example, dead civilians," he insisted.

                      Happily the torture was not that bad...
                      "A platoon of Chinese tanks viciously attacked a Soviet harvester,
                      which was peacefully working a field near the Soviet-Chinese border.
                      The harvester returned fire and upon destroying the enemy
                      returned to its home base."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        See guys there is hope in Iraq after all. They are assimilating quickly. They don't even have their own government yet but they have already learned to grab a lawyer and go for the dollars.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          An other French one, but you can adapt it to your country.

                          A very big traffic Jam in the South Motorway near Paris, plenty people run on the road they seems very scared and knock at each driver window.
                          A man knock : "What's Going on" ask the driver.
                          the Guy" At the main crossroad 5 km far from here, a Terrorist group took Jacques Chirac and the whole governement in hostages, they ask 1 Billions Euros to let them free, otherway the will poor gasoline on them and put fire, please give !!"
                          Driver" what the people give generaly ?"
                          The guy " At now the most generous gave 3 Gallons"

                          Der WanderFireOfJoy
                          The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
                          JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
                          The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by BigDog
                            See guys there is hope in Iraq after all. They are assimilating quickly. They don't even have their own government yet but they have already learned to grab a lawyer and go for the dollars.
                            LoL...looks like somebody got taken in by MikeJ's parody.

                            Notice the news service was Rooters, and not Reuters?
                            I have no problem at all with being proved wrong. Especially when being proved wrong leaves the world a better place, than being proved right...

                            Comment

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