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Turkeys Launch Pre-emptive Strike Against U.S. Infrastructure

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  • Turkeys Launch Pre-emptive Strike Against U.S. Infrastructure

    About 1,500 people in southeastern Sheboygan County lost power for about an hour this morning after a turkey flew into a power line near Sauk Trail and Amsterdam roads, according to We Energies.

    Article
    Clean your shotguns, it has begun.
    ...how useless it was to struggle against fortune, this being the burden of wisdom which the ages had bequeathed to him.

  • #2
    I read the title as "Turkey Launch Pre-emptive Strike Against U.S. Infrastructure" and thought WTF???

    Now it makes sense though. Cranberry sauce launchers loaded and ready.

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    • #3
      I'm gonna load my shotgun shells with breadcubes, peppercorns, and poultry seasoning. Or, at least I would, if I had a shotgun.

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      • #4
        Hahhahaa.....Yep. That's why I opened it. I thought we were talking about the Turks not the turkeys!! But it makes perfect sense and is funny once you read it.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Centurion40 View Post
          I'm gonna load my shotgun shells with breadcubes, peppercorns, and poultry seasoning. Or, at least I would, if I had a shotgun.
          Improvise! Take a hollow steal tube, weld an endcap, drill a couple of holes for an electric ignition switch (or a flint starter from a lantern) fill with black powder and top with items you wish to see propelled at high velocity.

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          • #6
            They must be in cahoots with the squirrels who are leaping in to transformers lately.

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            • #7
              America has been preparing for zombies for years! But the turkeys created the whole genre (Romero is a turkey master spy) as a ruse to make sure nobody expected... The turkeypocalypse.


              On a slightly related note, there is also a country that shares the name with turkey (the animal) in the portuguese language: Peru.
              That makes me wonder if every language has a country corresponding to the animal name... That would be part of this turkey conspiracy going back thousands of years.
              We could be on to something.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Cicero View Post
                Improvise! Take a hollow steal tube, weld an endcap, drill a couple of holes for an electric ignition switch (or a flint starter from a lantern) fill with black powder and top with items you wish to see propelled at high velocity.
                That's a good call right there.

                I'm going to add butter, bacon & onion to the list. Maybe follow-up with a home-made napalm strike. I could stuff and prepare the bird, then cook-it in a wonderful one-two strike.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Centurion40 View Post
                  That's a good call right there.

                  I'm going to add butter, bacon & onion to the list. Maybe follow-up with a home-made napalm strike. I could stuff and prepare the bird, then cook-it in a wonderful one-two strike.
                  Duck & Butter...

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by joea View Post
                    I read the title as "Turkey Launch Pre-emptive Strike Against U.S. Infrastructure" and thought WTF???

                    Now it makes sense though. Cranberry sauce launchers loaded and ready.
                    Nice one!

                    Since it was just one turkey, maybe the thread would be better titled:

                    "Pre-emptive Strike against U.S. Infrastructure launched by Turkey"

                    to create even greater initial consternation.


                    Philip
                    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."— Bertrand Russell

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by PhilipLaos View Post
                      "Pre-emptive Strike against U.S. Infrastructure launched by Turkey"

                      to create even greater initial consternation.


                      Philip
                      That's too dangerous! We have some people here that are active military, we could end up causing missile silos to open up in North Dakota over this topic.

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                      • #12
                        Around here, it is usually a squirrel or racoons that crawls through the maze of high voltage insulators at a local sub station until they complete a circuit, get fried by the high voltage, and blow out the transformer. One on a power pole by the house started the pole on fire which, when it burned through, dropped the high voltage wire on the ground wire and blew out the fuze down the road. The high voltage crack sounded like an explosion.
                        “Breaking News,”

                        “Something irrelevant in your life just happened and now we are going to blow it all out of proportion for days to keep you distracted from what's really going on.”

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                        • #13
                          "It was like the Turkeys mounted a counter-attack. It was almost as if they were...organized."


                          ...how useless it was to struggle against fortune, this being the burden of wisdom which the ages had bequeathed to him.

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