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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    SAEED AL SAHAF ((The Now Former) Iraqi Information Minister) The
    chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do
    not even have a chicken.

    GEORGE W BUSH
    We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
    the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for
    us or against us. There is no middle ground.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    of the chicken crossing the road.

    TONY BLAIR
    I agree with George.

    HANS BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    DR SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
    but why it crossed I've not been told.


    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
    told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    TRISHA
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its
    dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
    peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historic inevitability.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
    road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
    important documents, and balance your chequebook - and internet explorer
    is an integral part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    What is your definition of chicken?

    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
    CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
    rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS
    Did I miss one?

    HOMER SIMPSON
    Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
    "Teamwork is essential - it gives the Enemy someone else to shoot at"

  • #2
    1947 Official proclamation of the State of Israel

    Lot of English Foreign Office Officials, Dark Grey suits with tie.
    Arrive David Ben Gourion with white shirt open collar without tie.
    One of those British ran in front of him with a Tie and oblige him to wear it." David David in your home you may not wear a tie but here in an official meeting you have to wear one

    Bla Bla Bla, after lot of speech the Official proclamation of the birth of state of Israel is made. So everybody saw David BenGourion removing his tie, smilling. Looking to the british guys he said: "Now I'm at home"

    Der Wanderer
    The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
    JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
    The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

    Comment


    • #3
      From Letterman...

      Top Ten President Bush Excuses For Not Finding Weapons of Mass Destruction


      10. "We've only looked through 99% of the country"

      9. "We spent entire budget making those playing cards"

      8. "Containers are labeled in some crazy language"

      7. "They must have been stolen by some of them evil X-Men mutants"

      6. "Did I say Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? I meant they have goats"

      5. "How are we supposed to find weapons of mass destruction when we can't even find Cheney?"

      4. "Still screwed up because of Daylight Savings Time"

      3. "When you're trying to find something, it's always in the last place you look, am I right, people?"

      2. "Let's face it -- I ain't exactly a genius"

      1. "Geraldo took them"
      I have no problem at all with being proved wrong. Especially when being proved wrong leaves the world a better place, than being proved right...

      Comment


      • #4
        Why is it, none of the other forums I visit, have guys that can produce humour this good?
        Life is change. Built models for decades.
        Not sure anyone here actually knows the real me.
        I didn't for a long time either.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LestheSarge9-1f
          Why is it, none of the other forums I visit, have guys that can produce humour this good?
          Because we have the almighty dancing bananas.

          Scientists have announced they've discovered a cure for apathy. However no one has shown the slightest bit of interest !!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by tigersqn


            Because we have the almighty dancing bananas.

            Or are they dancing condoms?
            “To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed…” -1984 about the Big Lie

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Sheik Yerbouti


              Or are they dancing condoms?
              Don't all condoms dance when their filled ?
              Scientists have announced they've discovered a cure for apathy. However no one has shown the slightest bit of interest !!

              Comment


              • #8
                Gentlemen I'm terribly shocked, condoms.

                Do you know this one

                In convent the Mother superior annonce the meal
                "Tomorow sister we will have carrots"
                All the sisters "AHHHHHHH"
                Mother Superior add
                "Sliced"
                Sisters "ohhhhhhh"

                sorry anticlerical French humour

                Der Wanderer
                The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
                JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
                The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by jlbetin
                  Gentlemen I'm terribly shocked, condoms.

                  Do you know this one

                  In convent the Mother superior annonce the meal
                  "Tomorow sister we will have carrots"
                  All the sisters "AHHHHHHH"
                  Mother Superior add
                  "Sliced"
                  Sisters "ohhhhhhh"

                  sorry anticlerical French humour

                  Der Wanderer
                  {Groans}You need a drumbeat and cymbal crash to end that joke.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    How to tell if you're a Military Pagan

                    1. When you use a flame-thrower to light the altar candles.

                    2. When your athame has a bayonet attachment to fit on your M-16.

                    3. When your robe is made of camouflage material.

                    4. When your cakes & wine come from MRE's.

                    5. When your book of shadows contains plans on defusing bombs, poison antidotes and basic survival techniques.

                    6. When your circle is marked by barb-wire.

                    7. When you have to ride an ATV or HumVee to get to the Covenstead.

                    8. When you use an artillery shell casing for your God symbol.

                    9. When you take down a tent to move the Covenstead.

                    10. When your familiar is either a Doberman, Rottweiler or German Shepherd.

                    11. When you use a hubcap for a scrying dish.

                    12. When you use teargas to smudge when doing banishings.

                    13. When your goddess symbol is Tank Girl.

                    14. When 1st degree training includes Ninjitsu or other forms of martial arts.

                    15. When your circle name is Spike, Slash, Ripcord, Hawkeye, Bubba, ornanything that ends with 'ster'.

                    16. When you use machine gun fire to cast your circle.

                    17. Instead of using an acorn or pine cone, you use a hand grenade for a God symbol (if there isn't an artillery shell available).

                    18. When you use a compass for a divination tool.

                    19. When you use a bullet on a string for a pendulum.

                    20. When you call your High Priest "Commander", and your High Priestess as "General" or "Bitch Queen".
                    "Lord... forgive me my actions, speech and thoughts. Because, Lord, I am seriously going to kick some unrighteous ass in Your Name, Amen."
                    Princess of Wands by John Ringo (Jan 2006)

                    http://www.baen.com/chapters/W200601...9232.htm?blurb

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A real French one

                      A father call its new ISP
                      Father :" Hi my son just 13 years old, subscribed this morning an internet connection to your society"
                      Customer Service :" Yes Sir your reference
                      The Father gives all the details and at the end, he rsays

                      Father:" My son told me to ask you the password he has saved for me"

                      Customer service don't answer

                      Father :" Sir I need the pasword"

                      Customer Service ,LOL, " yes sir, I ' try ", LOL," to spell it , "A" "S" "S" "space" "H" "O" "L" "E"

                      Father:" I will have a serious discussion tonight"
                      The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
                      JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
                      The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm planing a bicycle tour with some girl friends. Somebody want to join?
                        Attached Files
                        Resistance is futile!
                        My little company

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes.
                          Get the US out of NATO, now!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ich Komme sofort

                            Der WanderFahrer
                            The Best weapon ever:a good Joke. The Best shield ever: Humour
                            JLBETIN© Aka Der Wanderer TOAW Section Leader is a █ WHQ/SZO/XG/Gamesquad® product since 01/2003
                            The Birth of European Army Tournament round Three is opened

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My kingdom for a bicycle !

                              La Palice.
                              Monsieur de La Palice est mort
                              Mort devant Pavie.
                              Un quart d'heure avant sa mort
                              Il était encore en vie...

                              Comment

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