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Fed Funded Scientific Research Studies

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  • Fed Funded Scientific Research Studies

    20 government funded studies that will leave you scratching your head...

    1. Where does it hurt most to be stung by a bee? ($1 million)
    2. Why does walking with coffee cause it to spill? ($172,000)
    3. Do republicans and Democrats look different? ($50,000)
    4. Do drunk birds slur when they sing? ($5 million)
    5. Why does the face of Jesus appear on toast? ($3.5 million)
    6. Are Republicans or Democrats more disgusted by eating worms? ($855,000)
    7. How many shakes does it take for a wet dog to dry off? ($390,000)
    8. Are cheerleaders more attractive in a squad? ($1.1 million)
    9. What type of music do monkeys and chimps like? ($13 million)
    10. Could you outrun a dinosaur? ($1.9 million)
    11. Who will be America's next top model? ($2.9 million)
    12. Are chimpanzees better gamers than humans? ($340,000)
    13. Why is yawning contagious? ($1 million)
    14. Is Facebook addictive? ($511,860)
    15. Is being liberal a choice or genetic? ($2.6 million)
    16. What are the most popular emoticons used by college students in text messages? ($569,000)
    17. Which has more hairs, a squirrel or a bumble bee? ($753,000)
    18. How long does it take to pee like a race horse? ($331,000)
    19. What makes goldfish feel sexy? ($3.9 million)
    20. Does cocaine make honeybees dance? ($243,000)


    http://www.flake.senate.gov/public/_...s---report.pdf
    "Stand for the flag ~ Kneel for the fallen"

    "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer." ~ Bruce Lee

  • #2
    Could you outrun a dinosaur? ($1.9 million)
    Yeah... way to keep up with current events, guys.

    The list makes me wonder, what is the current rate of return on a $1 million dollar campaign contribution these days?
    It might just be the most lucrative investment you can make anymore.

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    • #3
      Despite the near worthlessness of these studies, I will bet that the director of the program distributing the cash has demanded more money.
      And will probably get it.
      Avatar is General Gerard, courtesy of Zouave.

      Churchill to Chamberlain: you had a choice between war and dishonor. You chose dishonor, and you will have war.

      Comment


      • #4
        Or these:
        • How long can shrimp run on a treadmill? $3 million

          Does playing Farmville increase the number of friends someone has? $315,000

          How to ride a bicycle. $300,000

          Using Twitter to predict the stock market. $25,000... Hey, it was cheap!

          U C Irvine, Playing World of Warcraft, $3 million

          Univ. N. Hampshire for studying cow farts, $700,000

          U C Santa Cruz. Digitizing Grateful Dead memorabilia, $615,000

          The effect of politicians being ambiguous, $216,000

          Studying the habits of Vietnamese male prostitutes, $442,340

          Poetry creation at (various) city zoos to increase environmental awareness, $1 million

          Dept of Veteran Affairs to maintain buildings not being used, $175 million

          Grant to the Museum of Neon Signs in Las Vegas, $1.8 million

          Monkton Vermont "critter crossing" $150,000

          US Census bureau Super Bowl commercial, $2.5 million

          Dartmouth University, creation of recession video game "Layoff" $137,500

          Soccer field for detainees at Guantanamo Bay, $750,000

          Why 5 year old children can't sit still, $500 million


        There just isn't enough room...

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Cambronnne View Post
          Despite the near worthlessness of these studies, I will bet that the director of the program distributing the cash has demanded more money.
          And will probably get it.

          I would like to see a complete overhaul of how these grants are issued. There's an art to getting federal grant money year after year.
          "Stand for the flag ~ Kneel for the fallen"

          "A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer." ~ Bruce Lee

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