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Feds Claim Halloween Pumpkins Cause Global Warming!

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  • Feds Claim Halloween Pumpkins Cause Global Warming!



    There’s good reason to be frightened of those jack o’lanterns on porches across America this week, according to the federal government, and it isn’t just candlelit, jagged-toothed grins.
    Pumpkins, according to the Department of Energy’s website, contribute to global warming by decomposing into methane, a harmful greenhouse gas the federal government says is 20 times as scary as carbon dioxide.
    “With the passing of Halloween, millions of pounds of pumpkins have turned from seasonal decorations to trash destined for landfills, adding to more than 254 million tons of municipal solid waste produced in the United States every year,” the agency warns. “This Halloween, think of turning this seasonal waste into energy as a very important 'trick' that can have a positive environmental and energy impact.”
    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2015.../?intcmp=hpbt4
    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

  • #2
    That's right! Do your part and burn your pumpkin with the leaves and other yard waste in a smokey open fire.

    Comment


    • #3
      It would be really funny if they weren't so serious all of the time. The problem I have with it all is that no government agency wants to address the true root issue - too many people, who buy all of those pumpkins and use all of that plastic and gasoline and oil and all that other stuff.

      If they could just get rid of all seven billion of us, no one would be left to complain, and the planet could carry on warming up without us.

      Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

      Comment


      • #4
        Ok, cows passing wind, halloween pumpkins, cucumber peels in landfills, what's next with these lunatics?
        Trying hard to be the Man, that my Dog believes I am!

        Comment


        • #5
          ****ING OBAMA!!!!!!!

          My worst jump story:
          My 13th jump was on the 13th day of the month, aircraft number 013.
          As recorded on my DA Form 1307 Individual Jump Log.
          No lie.

          ~
          "Everything looks all right. Have a good jump, eh."
          -2 Commando Jumpmaster

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by 101combatvet View Post
            ****ING OBAMA!!!!!!!
            You are not saying are co2 extravagant jet setting President is a hypocrite are you?
            We hunt the hunters

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Trung Si View Post
              Ok, cows passing wind, halloween pumpkins, cucumber peels in landfills, what's next with these lunatics?
              You missed the pineapple, watermelon and citrus rinds, nutshells, and even the disposable chopsticks, and soy sauce packets from Asian takeout food.

              But the pumpkin is the greatest of all evils, the needless burning of candles, and the energy used to roast the seed, and the damn shells from the seeds. Not to mention the littering of those that spit or toss the shells just anywhere! This evil grows each Halloween season as the Champion Pumpkins just gets bigger and bigger!!!!
              Flag: USA / Location: West Coast

              Prayers.

              BoRG

              http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8757/snap1ws8.jpg

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PtsX_Z3CMU

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Salinator View Post
                You missed the pineapple, watermelon and citrus rinds, nutshells, and even the disposable chopsticks, and soy sauce packets from Asian takeout food.

                But the pumpkin is the greatest of all evils, the needless burning of candles, and the energy used to roast the seed, and the damn shells from the seeds. Not to mention the littering of those that spit or toss the shells just anywhere! This evil grows each Halloween season as the Champion Pumpkins just gets bigger and bigger!!!!
                ...and The Great Bumpkin...err...Pumpkin... himself sits cackling evilly in the White House and farts our tax money into the wind.

                Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Save a pumpkin, ...

                  ... buy a gourd!



                  They're eco-friendly and wonderfully re-usable! And then there was the BIG Halloween Fire, and all those deaths; turns out gourds are also flammable, and people are stupid. Let's do away with Halloween altogether, much too frightening, research has shown that Halloween has scared children for life.

                  We'll march, eat quinoa based granola mix, drink almond milk, celebrate our uniqueness, and take back the night instead!
                  Last edited by Marmat; 30 Oct 15, 09:57.
                  "I am Groot"
                  - Groot

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Um...why don't you go ahead and start marching without me...granola gives me gas.

                    Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh yeah, ...

                      Originally posted by Mountain Man View Post
                      Um...why don't you go ahead and start marching without me...granola gives me gas.

                      ... you mentioned elsewhere that you had a problem with "wind". You're best to just stay home and shell out to the kiddies, just stay away from any ghost costume, you might find that sheet gets a tad ... malodorous.
                      "I am Groot"
                      - Groot

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Marmat View Post
                        ... buy a gourd!



                        They're eco-friendly and wonderfully re-usable! And then there was the BIG Halloween Fire, and all those deaths; turns out gourds are also flammable, and people are stupid. Let's do away with Halloween altogether, much too frightening, research has shown that Halloween has scared children for life.

                        We'll march, eat quinoa based granola mix, drink almond milk, celebrate our uniqueness, and take back the night instead!
                        Scared children for life or scarred? That's a good idea! I have no idea why I have never though of using a gourd. And I call myself a Southerner.
                        “I do not wish to have the slave emancipated because I love him, but because I hate his master."
                        --Salmon P. Chase

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          ..... and they wonder why most people won't listen to their Global Whining crapolla.
                          "Why is the Rum gone?"

                          -Captain Jack

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Got to love Fox who can turn a story and announcements about biofuels into a war on pumpkins. What's even scarier are the people who believe it.
                            "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it"
                            G.B Shaw

                            "They promised us homes fit for heroes, they give us heroes fit for homes."
                            Grandad, Only Fools and Horses

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Marmat View Post
                              ... you mentioned elsewhere that you had a problem with "wind". You're best to just stay home and shell out to the kiddies, just stay away from any ghost costume, you might find that sheet gets a tad ... malodorous.
                              Don't have any "kiddies" out here in the boonies...no pavement, no sidewalks and no streetlights, either.

                              Halloween out here is the absolute quietest night of the year.
                              Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes? Who is watching the watchers?

                              Comment

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