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The Most Insanely Stupid Martial Arts Movie Ever.

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  • #31
    The worst martial arts movies ever made were without a doubt the American Ninja series with Michael Dudikoff. For that matter, any film with Michael Dudikoff. He makes Segal and VanDamme look like A list actors.
    All questions are valid, all answers are tentative.

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    • #32
      ANY movie where an American trains to be a ninja! There was more than one.

      While we're at it, any film where an American trains to be a samurai.

      And ANY film where ninjas are protrayed as guardians of virtue.
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      • #33
        Originally posted by revans View Post
        He did get killed in that movie with Kurt Russell where the plane was hijacked and was carrying a bomb or plague or some such threat to the US. I forget the name of it. I must say I stood and cheered when Stevie bought it!
        There is no proof that Seagal actually died in that movie.

        He was a member of a Special Forces Seal type team and those guys are indestructable.

        TAKE IT BACK MAN, TAKE IT BACK, SEAGAL DIDN'T DIE SUCKA, SEAGAL DIDN'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Duke William View Post
          There is no proof that Seagal actually died in that movie.

          He was a member of a Special Forces Seal type team and those guys are indestructable.

          TAKE IT BACK MAN, TAKE IT BACK, SEAGAL DIDN'T DIE SUCKA, SEAGAL DIDN'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          He was blown out of the tube that went between the planes and he DID NOT have a parachute on as far as I could see, so therefore script tantrums notwithstanding, HE DIED! But it was heroically, he saved his guys and Kurt Russell, but he STILL BOUGHT IT!

          And I must agree with Kentek, Michael Dudidoff is awful, along with the black guy that is in most of those movies, Steve James. Those two are truly BAD!
          Last edited by R. Evans; 12 Feb 07, 15:23.
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          • #35
            Originally posted by revans View Post
            He did get killed in that movie with Kurt Russell where the plane was hijacked and was carrying a bomb or plague or some such threat to the US. I forget the name of it. I must say I stood and cheered when Stevie bought it!
            Executive Decision
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            • #36
              Originally posted by Psycho View Post
              Executive Decision
              That's the one! It actually wasn't that bad of a movie for a movie with Seagal in it. Wasn't he a Native American in another movie where he is a oil fire putter-outer? Fire Down Below I believe was that load of garbage was. It also had Michael "Any Movie For A Paycheck" Caine(see Jaws 3) in it with a bad dye job on his hair. I especially liked Stevie's speech in the bar after he "fights" some oil workers. "What is a man?" Who told him he could act?
              Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by revans View Post
                That's the one! It actually wasn't that bad of a movie for a movie with Seagal in it. Wasn't he a Native American in another movie where he is a oil fire putter-outer? Fire Down Below I believe was that load of garbage was. It also had Michael "Any Movie For A Paycheck" Caine(see Jaws 3) in it with a bad dye job on his hair. I especially liked Stevie's speech in the bar after he "fights" some oil workers. "What is a man?" Who told him he could act?
                I loved Seagal's first movie and the next three or four were pretty cool but then they went downhill fast. I still buy the straight to DVD stuff but as cheap as $5 each or less. He is still entertaining but only because he has ballooned and he just mutters his lines. Unintentionally funny I guess is what you could call it.

                What's wrong with Michael Caine? He's a dude.
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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Psycho View Post
                  I loved Seagal's first movie and the next three or four were pretty cool but then they went downhill fast. I still buy the straight to DVD stuff but as cheap as $5 each or less. He is still entertaining but only because he has ballooned and he just mutters his lines. Unintentionally funny I guess is what you could call it.

                  What's wrong with Michael Caine? He's a dude.
                  Oh, I don't have anything against Michael Caine, it's just sometimes his career choices baffle me. But that's just about any actor, they all have some stinkers in their past. Even George C. Scott(Patton) was making some very bad movies towards the end of his career.

                  And do I dare say that no one has mentioned some of the Dolph Lundgren martial arts flicks? He's got some bad ones on the market also. Or would he be considered an action "star"?
                  Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

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                  • #39
                    Kungfu hustle and Kungfu soccer are two of the absolute best Chinese movie to come out this century so far. Fair enough it's got martial art in it, but I didn't watch it for the martial art.
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                    • #40
                      Fearless

                      I just saw Jet Li's "Fearless", and I enjoyed it immensely. I think I'll buy it and add it to my collection.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Psycho View Post
                        Executive Decision
                        Thanks. The title of that escaped me as well.

                        As for American ninja. Sorry guys, I've got 1-3. There are bad films that are fun to watch and I've probably got most of the 'cannon' library on either VHS or DVD.

                        Steve James was the name of the black guy. Why I cant recall the name of a major film like Executive Decision but can recall the name of a B actor like that is beyond me. (He can also be seen in Exterminator, Hero and the terror and Delta Force)
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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by revans View Post
                          That's the one! It actually wasn't that bad of a movie for a movie with Seagal in it. Wasn't he a Native American in another movie where he is a oil fire putter-outer? Fire Down Below I believe was that load of garbage was. It also had Michael "Any Movie For A Paycheck" Caine(see Jaws 3) in it with a bad dye job on his hair. I especially liked Stevie's speech in the bar after he "fights" some oil workers. "What is a man?" Who told him he could act?
                          did anyone else notice that the majority of the Inuit in that crapfest were Chinese right down to Joan Chen playing his girlfriend?
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